Rant...

It's been a while since I've had a rant, and I know how much you enjoy me standing on my soap box, railing against some injustice (real or imagined). So here it is...

I actually read this comment on Gay Banker's blog which really annoyed me...

"Simple old truth: if you go out looking for love you'll never find it. The number of times I've seen people go out to 'find a boyfriend'... (almost) always ends in disaster. That kind of search is basically egocentric and selfish. You're out there looking because it's something *you* want to have or because you have so much love that *you* want to give to someone. It's rarely about the other person. It's all about you.Most of the time true love comes about when you accidentally find someone that you're compatible with, ie when you're not *looking*, you're just *doing* what you usually do, day in, day out and *bam* there he is. You start off travelling in parallel. The trick to longevity is figuring out how to keep travelling in parallel without losing too much of yourself."

What is it with these people who seem to have a problem with guys going out looking for a boyfriend??? Seriously, get over it! "Simple old truth: if you go out looking for love, you'll never find it." Bollocks!!! What a load of crap! Maybe you were a lucky one who was just toddling along, "not looking" and then Mr Right just turned up on your door. BUT that doesn't mean that it happens to everyone! It really cheeses me off when these kind of guys seem to act like they have some moral superiority because they were "not looking". What's wrong with looking for Mr Right? And what's with the assumption that all guys who are out there looking for Mr Right are automatically desperate? Just because a guy would like a partner in life and has got the balls to go out there and try and find him, is it a given that he's some kind of stalker-in-waiting? NO!

I know when I was looking, and when I did my rant back in January, there were comments about the fact that I shouldn't be actively looking but to just "let it happen". Well, I didn't stop looking and see what happened...McBrad! I'm very happy that I didn't let the condescending attitude of some put me off my search. There were also comments cautioning me not to come across as desperate...well, I don't think I did but there you have it, the assumption was there.

I'm reading a couple of blogs from lovely guys who are looking for a boyfriend, but when I read their posts (and the comments), you can't help but get the impression that they feel a little bit embarassed or ashamed of the fact that they're out there looking. Well guys, don't be! It takes guts to put yourself out there and openly admit that you're looking for a boyfriend. If you're lucky, you might stumble across the path of Mr Right and that's fantastic. But if you don't, good on you for going out looking. More power to you for actually getting off your arses and searching instead of just moaning about wanting a boyfriend.

I also have an issue with the idea that looking for a boyfriend is selfish. Why is it selfish to want a partner in life? Again, it's the condescension that "looking for love" is somehow inherently inferior to just "accidentally finding" it. It really annoys me! As far as I'm concerned, those guys who confess to "looking for love" are just being honest. Granted, there are guys who are genuinely not wanting a relationship, for a whole host of reasons and you have to respect that, but the ones who are ostensibly NOT looking for love but jump at it the second they find it are, from my perspective, being hypocritical when they decry others for looking for it.

OK, that's it, rant over.

Spring in my step...

I do have to apologise - my blogging has been somewhat hit and miss of recent weeks. I will try and be more regular going forward.

Anyway, it's just going to be more of the usual romantic mush from me, so consider yourself warned.

I spent the entire weekend at McBrad's which was splendid. There was a moment part way through the weekend when I stopped and thought...'this is as good as it gets!' But the funny thing is, I've had a few moments like that over the last few months but it just continues to get better! Everything just seems to be going fantastically well. It never fails to surprise me that McBrad continues to be his gorgeous self, continues to profess his love for me and continues to want me around! And this is completely reciprocated, trust me!!!

Now, Friday was officially 5 months for us! That in itself is great! But after celebrating 1, 2 and 3 months together, we made a mutual decision not to make a big deal of 4 and 5 months, but rather wait for 6 months. Despite that, waiting for me when I arrived at his place on Friday evening was an array of presents. It was very sweet of him and I was very touched. I had only brought a bunch of flowers for him so I purchased a really nice bottle of champers for dinner. It was a lovely dinner and a wonderful evening and it just reinforced to me how lucky I am! I am sorry to go on and on about this, but I can't stop grinning.

Anyway, suffice to say that Monty continues to be a happy chap!

On a different note, as has been mentioned in other blogs, it's Spring here in the Antipodes and we've had some glorious weather - beautiful big blue skies, buckets of sunshine and daytime temperatures in the low 20's (degrees Celcius). Just perfect. The trees are starting to sprout leaves, flowers are starting to bloom, the days are slowly getting longer and longer. It's magnificent.

AND I got my results from my recent DFP assignment - I passed so I'm happy (17.75 out of 20 - not my most splendid result but a pass is a pass and that's all I need). It was a stress to get it done (particularly after I lost half the assignment 2 days before it was due) and so passing it has been a relief! Now, next step is the exam - I have 2 months. But I think I've broken the back of it so the worst is over.

I was reading a couple of my posts I made about dating over the past couple of years and it was interesting to see where I was at back then. To see the issues I was dealing with, and how I was dealing with them - it was a good reminder about how good I have it now. I'm reading a couple of blogs that appear to be somewhat similar to mine 12 - 18 months ago and it's fascinating to read them. I've added them to my blog roll and I hope that I can be as encouraging and supportive to those guys as many of my readers were to me in those dark days of my single sluthood!

Anyway, all good in the life of Monty at the moment. Hope all is good in your world too!

A Scottish thing...

Most people who know my surname would assume that it's of French derivation and so are consequently surprised when I tell them that's it's actually of Scottish origin. My surname is that of a small'ish clan that was based in the western highlands of Scotland and so, when I first travelled to the UK in 1996, I did a bit of a pilgrimage to where my family came from. It was rather exciting for me to visit the "family lands", having grown up in Australia, a country with barely 200 years of European/Anglo-saxon history. In Scotland, there's an old ruined castle which had been the seat of the clan for centuries, there was a new "castle" which replaced it, as well as lots of other related historical sites. And so, when I came over in 2006 to out myself to my brother Mark (and to embark on Monty's Shagging Tour of Europe), I took the opportunity to take Mark up to Scotland for a long weekend, to show him all the clan stuff and let him experience our family history.

So I've had an enduring attachment to all things Scottish - I think the country is lovely (if a little cold and wet), the history fascinating and the people really friendly, if a little hard to understand sometimes!

And so, last night I was pleasantly suprised to add another reason for my Scottish appreciation. I had gone out with Jacqui, her friend Lynne, and four other work colleagues to the Glass Brasserie at the Hilton Hotel for an Earth Hour dinner. It was a splendid evening I must say! To celebrate Earth Hour, the entire restaurant was decked out in candles (in Jorge Jensen candelabra) and the menu was completely organic (including the wine). It's one of Luke Mangan's restuarants and so the food was spectacular, wine was excellent and the company entertaining.

I have been chatting to a Scottish guy (ahh, now you see where we're going with this) for a couple of weeks - initially on Gaydar and then via MSN chat. I'd actually organized to have lunch with him today (Sunday) so that we could meet. He seemed like a friendly guy, his pics were good and given my Anglo- and Scoto-philia (is there such a word?), thought it'd would be worth a try. Anyway, early in the evening, he messaged me, to see what I was up to later in the evening. I had originally planned to meet up with some friends at Slide for a few drinks after dinner, however, after his sms, arranged to meet up with him.

What can I say - he's gorgeous!!! He's 40, very well built, lovely tan, handsome, and with a charming Scottish accent. A lovely guy, we had a couple of glasses of wine and got to know each other better. He actually admired my chest of all things - for which I gave a silent thankyou to my trainer Greg - which I couldn't really understand, as he's got a HOT body! But apparently, he thinks I'm not too bad on the eyes! At the end of the night, he asked me when I'd be available for a "real date" ie dinner etc. I was rather pleased at this turn of events and, playing cool, suggested next Friday night to which he agreed. I received an sms this morning - "I could make myself available tonight if you want to have dinner". Yippee - I quickly responded to him in the affirmative. I'd also actually mentioned to him last night that I had never seen the Harry Potter series of movies (which he owns on DVD) and so I received another sms from him - "If you want to see the HP movies, that will commit you to another 4 dates as well". No problems here! Happy to commit to another 14 dates actually!!! Not that I will, I hasten to add, as I'm trying to play this one cool. He's the one who's displaying the enthusiasm which I'm a big fan of!

So, who knows what will happen to this one. The good thing is...he is a permanent resident of Australia, has purchased a terrace in Surry Hills and so is not about to choof off overseas!!! A Big plus!!! :-)

Life's unexpected twists/occurrences/coincidences...

As I said in my previous post, I hadn't planned that much stuff for this Easter weekend and it worked out rather well. It's been an interesting weekend - one very different to what I would have expected, but life's little twists and turns are always good fun.

I had organized to have dinner Sat night with the Englishman I met on Tuesday however he rang me early in the afternoon and postponed it. Not a worry. I was talking to Mike, a fellow (and now lapsed) blogger later that day and we decided to meet up for drinks and dinner instead! So an unexpected dining companion that night, but not an unwelcome one! We had a great evening catching up - hadn't seen him since Fair Day and even then, I was somewhat distracted by The Tourist. So it was a lovely night!

Sunday morning, Jacqui phoned me to invite me to breakfast and so we wondered down in the sunshine to Blues Point Rd and had a very pleasant morning. I had decided to spend Sunday afternoon studying and I have to say, Financial Planning is very very dull. Who in their right mind would be a Financial Planner??? (and before you say anything, yes, I am studying for my Diploma of Financial Planning HOWEVER it's a work requirement. My employer wants us to do DFP so that we'll be more conversant with all the facets of the financial world.)


Anyway, as I was going to be home all arvo, I logged onto Gaydar to see what was going on. Imagine my surprise when I received a message from a guy I met last Easter at Stonewall on my big night out with my mates Baz and Waz. I was rather pleased because I had thought he was very cute when I met him but had not seen him since that night (and silly me never bothered to get his phone number). So it was quite amazing to receive a message from him exactly a year later - particularly because I don't think he remembers me (he was just a touch inebriated when we met at Stonewall). So we'll see how we go!


I was going to have a nice quiet night at home last night, considering I had been out Thurs night, Friday night and Saturday night, and so had settled down with some dinner and a DVD. 10pm, I get a text from my mate Ivan..."We are going to go to Arq and get drunk. We leave in 30 mins". And of course, I jumped in the shower, got myself all tarted up, met Ivan and proceeded into town. I've never been to Arq before so I was interested to see what it was like. And Paulini was singing there later on which was added incentive. What a night!!! Arq seems to be somewhat similar to "Babylon" from the "Queer As Folk" series in appearance and it was chokka block full of hot hot guys without shirts on! Met a few nice guys, indulged in some random snogging and danced my sox off! We didn't leave until about 5:30am! So another unexpected night and a fantastic one as well!!!


Today, I slept in until 2pm and then decided to go grocery shopping. Fantastic...all the delicious daddies were out in force. It was hard to concentrate on shopping! So it was a very pleasant experience!


So overall, a great weekend!!! A bit too much partying and not enough study, so will have to rectify that this week. But no complaints here! :-)

Sleeping in...

I love sleeping in. There's absolutely no question that it is my utterly favourite thing to do on a weekend! And when it's a long weekend, well, it just means twice as many opportunities to sleep in. Today, however, I was determined to get up at the unheard of hour of 9am! I even set my alarm to wake me at 8.35am to ensure that it happened. 8.35am came and on switched ABC Classic FM. And what did I do? I vaguely woke up, had a stretch in bed, and revelling in the delicious feeling of being under blankets on a cool'ish morning, rolled over and snoozed! 9am came, the news came on and I popped my head out from underneath the covers. 9.05am and the news over, I once again submerged. Didn't end up dragging myself out of bed until 10.30am! I am just hopelessly addicted to those long drawn out mornings in bed!

And it's been a lovely morning I must say. Walked down to the Grumpy Baker and had my morning long black with a ham and cheese croissant whilst reading the Saturday paper. (and if you remember reading my Easter post from last year, you'll understand how delightful it is to finally have found a place that serves H&C croissants over Easter). I've come back from that, finished my paper, caught up on a couple of blogs, and an email from The Tourist.

I'm just about to depart for a 2pm coffee with a nice man I've been chatting to on Gaydar. We'll see how it goes. I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I've been pretty quiet on the ol' online front this year, my time being occupied rather exclusively firstly with Mack and then The Tourist. Well, now that they're both in different continents, I've got back into the online thing, albeit not as exuberantly as I was last year.

And so, I had a couple of drinks with a lovely Englishman on Tuesday night, who, quite conveniently turned up on Friday night at the same pub I was at with my mate Dan. (OK, OK, I may possibly have let slip in an sms where I'd be) We're also doing dinner tonight so all seems good on that front. But I'm not sure about him...he seems very nice, he's handsome, charming, chatty and all that...but since The Tourist, my standards seem to have been raised somewhat! Surprising, given that it was just a 3 week holiday affair, but there was so much good stuff with TT, that I find myself looking for equivalent or better in every other guy now! Anyway, I'm giving this new Englishman the benefit of the doubt and we'll see how we go on date no. 3.

I've got to say, this weekend is highly unplanned...I've been just taking things as they come. I've actually started studying for my Diploma of Financial Planning - well, I haven't started studying, that is the problem. My first assigment is due 11th April and I've not even opened the book! So I think I will have to actually do some studying this weekend! UG!

Anyway, this is a bit of a rambling post...not a lot important stuff to report really!

Hope everyone else is having a great one! :-)

Weekend...and Mack...

We went down to the beach house over the weekend - we being myself, Evan, DG and NSSG. It was the first time DG and NSSG had come to the beach house and so I was hoping that it would be a perfect weekend. Unfortunately, La Nina had other ideas and so it was raining all Friday and Saturday which meant that 4 guys had to hang out inside! We certainly kept ourselves entertained, with papers to read, Trivia to Pursue, DVD's to watch and food and alcohol to consume (and Jenga to challenge us late at night, after a few drinks). So we managed!

But Sunday dawned bright and sparkly which excited me no end! So, after a relaxing breakfast cooked by DG and NSSG, Evan and I indulged in a spot of gardening and thence to the beach! Evan, sensible man that he is, went for a walk, wearing long sleeves. Me, on the other hand, saw the hot surfer dude in the surf and planted myself on the sand in easy viewing distance, ditched the shirt and clad only in my Aussiebums, proceeded to read my book. Not that much reading was done, as the surfer inched closer up the beach toward me. Eye candy plus plus plus! He was HOT!

Time forgotten, Monty lost in pleasant thoughts of surfer dude in the dunes. 90 minutes later, he picked up his board and left and I awoke from my reverie. Unfortunately, with no sunscreen on, my lily whites became ruby red!!! OUCH! 'twas a Monty in pain that drove home Sunday night!

But, I was at home Sunday night, reviewing the pics on my camera and as I went back through them, the previous pictures I had taken came up on the screen. Pictures of Mack. And it all came rushing back...the feelings! I had deliberately not thought about him (not an easy task) since our breakup, but seeing him again on my camera just brought him back to the front of my mind. And I sighed... It's amazing how you remember every detail of what was happening, what was said, when looking at a photo.

I had actually organized to meet up with him last night (Monday) - we originally planned to go (and had book tix) to the OpenAir Cinema a few weeks ago when we were dating and so we thought, seeing as how he leaves this week, that this would be a good opportunity to say goodbye, as friends. Turned up yesterday at Mrs Macquaries Chair, where the cinema is, and saw him coming toward me, through the crowd. God, he's so cute, and gorgeous, and tall. We were there about 90 minutes early and so we grabbed some food, a glass of wine and chatted whilst viewing the sun set behind the Opera House. It was a delightful balmy night and it felt just so relaxed to be chatting to him. The movie started after sun-down, which was about 8.30 or so and there was a bit of a chill in the air. I foolishly had only worn jeans and a thin shirt, due to my rather painful sunburnt back. But as the movie progressed, I did start to get just a little bit chilly. He noticed and took off his jacket and gave it to me. What a gentleman! I gratefully accepted it as I was really starting to feel the chill, but then, when I had it on, I could smell him. Oh, what a rush of memories that gave me. I loved snuggling with him and lying in the crook of his arm, with my head on the top part of where his chest becomes his shoulder was the best, as it allowed me to breathe his scent in all night long. So the last part of the movie was lost in a daze of fond recollections.

I drove him home and we had a bit of a snog...but it wasn't a sexual thing, it was just sweet, gentle kisses, mixed with a touch of sadness. I'm not going to see him again, well, for at least a year or so anyway. And so it was a bit emotional for both of us. It's hard, when you find someone that you think had all the potential of being "the one", letting him leave your life. Even for a just a year. Who knows what will happen in the next twelve months. But one thing I know, we'll remain friends, and we'll both have a very special, very lovely few weeks of shared memories to look back on. Monty is a bit melancholy today.

All good things must come to an end...

Yes, it's over. This thing with Mack that is. We had a chat about it last night and with his departure less than 10 days away, it's all started to hit him. He told me that he's becoming too attached to me and with him having one farewell party after another, he's struggling to cope emotionally. Naturally, I would have preferred that "we" kept going right up until he left, but I can understand where he was coming from. Even when we were talking about it, I could see that he was becoming emotional and the last thing either of us wanted was for this "relationship" to be anything but enjoyable. I don't want to put additional pressure on him and as much as I would love to see more of him, it's just not fair...on either of us. Even in the 24 hours since we've talked, already I'm missing him. The chemistry that we had between us was amazing; I found him unbelievably attractive and he told me that he was totally into me. We enjoyed each other's company, had lots of laughs and have become friends, even in the short time that we've known each other. It's been an intense few weeks and I don't regret any of it. He's a top guy and we've agreed to keep in contact via email while he is overseas. It is ironic that I find someone who I think has all the hallmarks of being "the one" AND who reciprocates my feelings, and he's moving overseas.

Oh well, all good things must come to an end. ...sigh...

So, it's back on the dating treadmill for Monty! As much as I don't feel like it at the moment. I really feel like going home and watching sappy movies and eating icecream all weekend, but that won't get me anywhere!

On another note, I had another appointment with my personal trainer Greg on Wednesday. Apparently, I also have very good posture and technique, which is somewhat attributable to my core strength...or something. We worked mainly on my upper body this time which felt good at the time. BUT I had to sign some papers at the end of my session and could barely lift the pen! I've signed up to see him twice a week for an hour a time - every Monday and Wednesday afternoons! Eek! I fear I will just be in pain 24/7 for the next month or so until I get used to this!

The good thing on Wednesday was that I could walk the bridge home without any difficulty; my legs were fine though Jacqui walked home with me (she lives around the corner) and so I couldn't power my way as I would like to. I had to moderate my pace for her. But it was a lovely walk home again. But today, my arms are aching!!! My arms AND my heart! Monty's a bit miserable today...

A bit of a rant...

OK, I realize that it's only 8 days into the New Year and already I'm writing a rant! But hey, I suppose it's been something that's been lurking at the back of my mind for a while.

I've had quite a few good friends over the course of the past year who've all commenced relationships (does that sound right? gotten into relationships? coupled up? you get my drift) and don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for them. But time and time again, I'll start seeing a guy, or be interested in a guy (who appears interested in me as well, so it's not just a one-sided thing) who then calls it off, saying that I shouldn't get into a relationship at this early stage of my gay life...that I'd be better off going out there and sowing my wild oates or words to that effect. And I've had this advice from my abovementioned friends as well. Now, I agree, I took a long time coming out and yes, I've sowed my fair share of wild oates (and I do think that was necessary), but I've been out for around 18 months now and I'm starting to get a bit tired of hearing that. At what stage is it considered that I'll have been out sufficient time to be ready for a relationship? Is there some magical number of months/years I need to hit??? I personally feel very ready for a relationship and despite what some may think, that's the purpose why I'm out there dating (and yes, I confess that I do have some fun along the way). But sometimes it just bugs me that whilst these people tell me just to relax and chill, that Mr Right will turn up "when I least expect it" and "when I'm not looking for him", they were all out there at one time, looking for their Mr Right* and they found him. I sometimes feel like I'm being judged for being a bit pro-active, in getting out there and actually dating lots of guys. Why do I have to wait for Mr Right? What if he's out there waiting as well? How the heck are we supposed to meet up if we're both sitting around waiting for each other to turn up?

It also aggravates me (I'm warming up now) that when I meet a guy that I like, and I've expressed this to a friend (and I'm not naming names, here; there's more than one friend who's said this to me), I get a warning to "back off" or to "just don't get too much into him" or "don't show him how much you like him too quickly" (not that I think I do, but that's subjective I suppose) and then I turn around and the friend has met a guy and fallen in love in a matter of weeks??? And apparently the speed at which they've moved is all justified (for them) because this is "the one". I do realize that you don't want to come on too strong, or get too clingy etc, it isn't exactly rocket science.

Where's the logic? Where's the fairness? It just feels sometimes a little patronising.

And don't get me wrong, I love my friends dearly, and I value their opinions...particularly the ones who've been out for a while and who know the ropes. But after 18 months out (not to mention 36 years of life), and not an inconsiderable number of dates under my belt, I think I can handle myself.

OK, rant over.

I'm at Day 2 of my new job and so far so good. I've got great new colleagues, a great boss and the clients seem nice. Of course, January is a good time to start, as it's dead quiet. We'll see how I feel come April, May and June!

* Just a point of clarification...when I use the term "Mr Right", I'm not suggesting at all that I think that there is just one guy out there who is perfect for me...I realize (despite what people may think) that successful relationships require hard work and commitment. It's not all running along beaches hand in hand and snuggling in winter. When I use "Mr Right", I am simply referring to a man who I can fall in love with and who'll love me in return.

Monty's Miscellaneous Musings...

I was talking to my mate Dan the other day. Dan also works for the Bank, in a different division, in a different building. So we email each other quite a lot. We're trying to tee up a night to go out and actually catch up, because we haven't seen each other since I returned from holidays.

As it happens when you email, invariably you start chatting about stuff instead of storing it up for when you meet. And so I was telling him about my holiday, and particularly he was interested in my, ummmm, success with the gents. And so I told him. His reaction was "Monty, you are a Slut with a CAPITAL S". He said this jokingly, but it did get me thinking about something that had been on my mind.

I have this internal conflict - one the one hand, my friends keep telling me "Monty, you're young(-ish), single, and you've been out for not quite 18 months. Go out and have some fun!" And for all my faithful readers, you'll know that I've certainly endeavoured to take this advice very seriously! :-) And it's been lots of fun! BUT, on the other hand, I have been brought up in a very strictly moral family, with very traditional values. Growing up, I was determined to remain chaste until I got married. And I did, until age 28 when I had my first sexual experience...with Andy! But even after that, I had terrible feelings of guilt and was abstinent for months and months after that. Eventually, I couldn't stand it and had another encounter, but then the guilt feelings would happen and it all started again. This happened for years, until I finally accepted the fact that I was gay, and then made the decision to come out. And of course, since then, I've made up for lost time. But still, in the back of my mind, sometimes a little voice is telling me that I shouldn't sleep around so much, that I should control my urges. I don't particularly want to be known as a tart or a slut or any other similar epithet. And I do know that my friends don't really think badly of me when I do have my little bit of fun. But sometimes, it still concerns me.

I also know that I would very much prefer to be in a monogamous relationship - that's my ideal. And it's something that is inherent in me...I've grown up with monogamy being presented as the only option and whilst things have changed, I still seek it. Even when I was seeing C3 and Bruce, the minute we started dating, I cancelled any other dates I had planned, and was happily monogamous for the duration of our relationship.

This is a bit of a ramble I know, but it's just something that has been niggling me.

Redoak...

The Redoak pub on Clarence St has some lovely memories for me. Last year, on my last day at work before heading overseas (for "Monty's Shagging Tour of Europe), my friends James and Jacqui took me there for a couple of drinks. Earlier this year, after a few drinks at work one Friday evening, James, Jacqui, the Cute Gay Work Guy and I retired to the Redoak for a couple more beers before I took CGWG home with me for a highly pleasant shag-a-thon! But I haven't been back there since.

Until last night, that is. I've been talking to this guy on Gaydar and he seemed very nice. And so, we finally arranged to meet up on Friday night. He worked near King St Wharf and I work near Wynyard. And he somewhat cryptically stated that he preferred if our meeting was "discreet". I read this as meaning that he probably wasn't fully "out", if at all. So, I suggested the Redoak...conveniently situated for both of us, and quite a straight joint. He also mentioned in one of his messages that he was not after a relationship or anything, just wanting to meet with friendship as the aim. That was OK for me - yes, I am after something more, however he seemed like a nice guy and this was before I had my Wednesday evening with the, errrr, generously aged guy I blogged about a couple of days ago.

Well, he turned up about 30 seconds after me and I was impressed. Tall (always a good thing in my books), handsome, and a very gregarious personality. He's 28 but has travelled quite extensively and so seems quite mature in his outlook. In fact, he told me later that the fact that I had travelled a fair bit was a serious attraction for him. And we ended up talking mostly about travel - I can never have enough travel and he's much the same. But after a couple of beers, I start asking him the inevitable questions about his sexuality..."why are you 'discreet'"? As it turns out, he's not "out"! No real surprise there...he's as blokey as they come (he even is a season ticket holder for the Bulldogs rugby league team). "Are you gay?" He also confesses that he's actually undecided as to his sexuality. It all starts making sense then.

But we're getting on fine and I'm thoroughly enjoying the evening. It's great to be able to talk about rugby league with someone who sleeps with guys (even if not exclusively)...there's not a lot of gay guys who are really into their league! But I did expect that the evening would end there.

After 3 pints, I was starving and so I mentioned that. I was somewhat surprised when he suggested that we find somewhere on the North Shore (where I live) to eat. Not being one to miss an opportunity, I countered with, "Why don't we go back to my place and we can order some home delivery". He readily agreed. We grabbed a taxi and before long, food long forgotten, were happily ensconced in my bed, going for it like there was no tomorrow! And I've gotta say...sensational!!! I'm a bit of a fan of bi-guys now! (the fact that he told me he enjoyed kissing me more than any chick was also slightly gratifying) And yes, Soul Seared Dreamer, he too was a great kisser! LOL

We actually lay in bed for about an hour afterwards, continuing our conversation from the Redoak. It was actually really enjoyable. He's probably the most blokey guy I've ever slept with...and I've gotta say, I was liking it excessively.

He didn't stay the night, but he definitely would like to see me again. This is nothing more than a physical thing - he's been very upfront about that, and I'm not expecting anything else. But I have to say, the physical thing is rather marvellous! He's certainly Mr Right Now, but he's also a very entertaining person to talk with, so he has good friend-potential. And unlike his dating predecessor, I actually wouldn't mind putting in the effort to get to know him better. Who knows, it may be difficult to have a friendship, considering the "straight" life that he leads. But even on a discreet basis, I certainly wouldn't object to a night or two here and there in his company.

Anyway, tonight I'm off to see my good friend DG - he's a bit run down from a heavy workload (and I suspect from his recent breakup) and so we're just going to get some home delivery and watch a DVD and catch up. I'm really looking forward to seeing him again as we've not seen each other since I returned from holidays. So it'll be a good evening, with good food, good conversation and a good friend!

I'm in a curious mood...

...not sure why, but I'm just feeling a little bit flat. It's been a very strange week at work, with our main client management system up and down for most of Monday - Wednesday. In fact, apart from answering the phone and a couple of emails yesterday, the most productive thing I did yesterday was put up the christmas decorations at work! And now that the system is back up, we've got buckets of backlog to try and catch up on and I'm really not feeling like it at all.

So, in addition to the strange working week, I've started getting back into dating. Had a date on Tuesday night...this guy is looking for gay friends so I suppose I shouldn't call it a "date", as it was never going to lead to anything more than friendship. Lovely bloke, I think there's a good possibility we could be friends. Had a date last night as well...this one advertised his age as 42. OK, this is getting towards the upper end of my dating range (not that I'm ageist or anything, but I just prefer guys around my age +/- 5 yrs) but when I met him, well, it certainly looks like a "gaydar" age. He's probably 42 + 5 yrs. BUT a very personable guy and after a couple of beers, I had relaxed and was enjoying the date. He dropped me home and, me being 3 beers down, I invited him in. He agreed and so we walked into my apartment and immediately started snogging. I must say, he's a great kisser! But, he had actually arranged to meet friends for dinner and so he left after about 10 mins.

Now, I'm thinking I shouldn't have invited him back. Monty + alcohol = horny! And the more alcohol, the less discriminating. So I've gotta try and ring him and suggest "we just be friends" - in fact, I would like to get to know him better as he does seem like a nice genuine guy (well, apart from the fact that his definition of his age is somewhat elastic). But at this time of the year, I don't know if I could be bothered to put a lot of time into him. I've got myself plenty of friends and really don't have that much time for more.

Tonight, I have the night off. I have another date arranged for tomorrow night however. Yes, when I put my mind to it, I really throw myself into it. If you've been reading this blog for the past twelve months, you'll know what I mean! Granted, 3 dates in a week is not particularly excessive for Monty...my record still stands at 9 dates in one week, and I do NOT aspire to break that record any time soon! That was EXHAUSTING!

It would be so much simpler if Mr Right just turned up on my doorstep (figuratively speaking) with relatively little effort involved! Unfortunately, things like that just don't seem to happen to me! Oh well, luckily dating is quite good fun! :-)

Dating...

Some of you have enquired about Sam, the guy I was seeing before I went overseas. If you recall, I met Sam at McDreamy's birthday celebration - he's one of Evan's oldest friends. Just before I went overseas, we (Sam and I) had a chat. At that stage, we'd been out 3 times (including our first meeting at McDreamy's b/day) and there seemed to be a reciprocated level of attraction. But, we'd only just met and I was going to be away for 6 weeks. So, we decided that it would be better if we made no commitments; I would be overseas and when I got back, we'd see what happened. No promises about the future, but if the zing was still there, then well and good.

So, I rang him last week, to see what the lay of the land was. It was a very general conversation - banal even - and in the end, I simply asked him, "Would you like to go out for dinner?". His response, "I'm really busy at the moment, work is stressing me...are you going to Evan's birthday?"...(Evan's birthday party is tomorrow - Saturday - night) I indicated that I was indeed going to Evan's birthday. "Well, we'll catch up at the party". Needless to say, I kinda got the impression that things had changed somewhat for him. I was disappointed, as I think he is a LOVELY guy! I could see myself falling very easily for him.

But, what's a boy to do? After a very good chat with Muzbot, I was feeling much better and so I decided to get out there and start dating again! (now that's a surprise...Monty dating...who'd have thought! LOL) And so, I organized a date on Friday night and one on Saturday night. Friday nights...well, the less said the better. He was English and all, but a disappointment. Saturday night's date, on the other hand, was an Australian guy and turned out to be a very pleasant dining companion. We ended up going back to his place and he turned out to be a very pleasant snuggler!!! I actually slept exceptionally well that night, which is quite unusual for me. When I'm with a new guy, I tend to doze, as I'm enjoying it too much to sleep properly. But with him (his name is Rick by the way), it was very comfortable.

But, not being one to put all my eggs in one basket, I had organized a date for Thursday of this week...as 26 yr old who'd started messaging me whilst I was overseas. Now, I'm not really into guys that young, but he was a persistant one, and from his picture, seemed quite cute. So, I thought 'what the hell'! Turns out, he's exceptionally cute and quite a lovely guy! We only had a couple of beers and, very unlike me, I showed great restraint and went home! I could so easily have shagged him on the spot though!!!

Tonight, we have the first of our work christmas parties. It promises to end up being very messy, as we started drinking at 3pm. I also know that when I get pissed, I get very horny, and so I've emailed Rick and warned him that I may be ringing him some time tonight and inviting myself over. He emailed me back and advised that it was more than OK! He does seem like a really nice guy - his one drawback is that he's 5'8" and so shorter than me. I generally go for taller guys. A small thing, agreed, and as I said, he's a fabulous snuggler so he certainly makes up for his lack of height.

Tomorrow night, my beautiful friend Evan celebrates his big Four-0... needless to say, it's going to be a fabulous evening and I can't wait for it. He's a very special friend and an all round nice guy and so it's great to be celebrating such a milestone with such a great person!

Sunday, I recover! :-) So, it's a bit of a big weekend! Should be fun! Should be messy! But I'm loving being in Sydney at the moment! Wish me luck!

One Non-Blonde...

Those of you who have seen me in the past couple of weeks have not seen me at my best...my hair was soooo long and unruly...it was driving me mad! I normally get a haircut every 4 to 5 weeks, however it's been over 7 weeks since my last cut and so I looked like the Wild Man of Borneo! Thankfully, before I went on holidays, I booked an appointment with my wonderful hairdresser Cindy.

So Tuesday came and I choofed off from work an hour early and drove across town to Coogee and presented myself at Cindy's salon. An hour later, a weight was lifted (quite literally) off my shoulders, with my new, funky, SHORT hair do! I know that this may come as a shock (NOT) to many of you, but I'm not a natural blonde - I've been getting blonde streaks for about 7 or 8 years. (let me say in my defence, I WAS a blonde as a kid...just gone darker as I've, errr, matured) On the plane flight home, as I was contemplating the joys of having my hair chopped off, I decided that now that I've hit, ummm, 30 (and some months), I should allow myself to age a bit more naturally and therefore, when I went to Cindy, I had her chop off the blonde and not replace it with new streaks.

And so, I'm now one non-blonde! It's very weird, everytime I look at the mirror, there's this strange, dark haired guy staring back! One downside...I can no longer use the "I'm having a blonde moment" excuse for my absent-mindedness! I'm going to have to come up with something new!

But I must say, on the upside, it seems to be agreeing with everyone around me. One of the party girls in my section rushed up to me when I walked into the printing room this morning and said, "[Monty], you are looking HOT!" (She knows I'm gay so she wasn't trying to hit on me or anything) So I'm a bit chuffed by that! Particularly, as I've got a date tonight, it's given me a little bit of a confidence boost!

What a great week I'm having...

Yes indeedy! After a rather good weekend, this week has been a delight! I stayed in on Monday and Tuesday nights and got myself two early nights in a row which made for a very well rested, and consequently quite perky, Monty at work. This meant that I've been zinging through my work which is always a good thing! AND I had a date with Sam last night! A very GOOD date! He's lovely - even better when I'm sober (which I was last night). We just had dinner and a bottle of wine, followed by some Gelato and coffee. Nothing spectacular but I didn't need that - I was enjoying his company too much to notice!

AND he's a fabulous kisser! He was keen to see me again, and so we're going out for dinner tomorrow night as well! And I can't wait!

Does this all sound familiar? LOL It's a bit tricky, as I fly out in two weeks to the day, so I'm not sure how things are going to go. I do like him, and he seems to like me. But things will only just be starting when I go o/s and I'll be away for 5 weeks so who knows!

But I am going to enjoy it while I am here, and see what the lay of the land is when I get back. Can't do any more than that.

A parting of ways...

It was bound to happen eventually...I went over to Bruce's on Wednesday night for dinner and for a chat. We had our chat and fundamentally, he told me that he didn't think "we" had a future as a couple, that whilst he really likes me, enjoys my company etc, I'm not Mr Right for him. It didn't really come as a great surprise, and I'd much prefer he told me that now, then allowing things to go along as they had. He felt the same - he didn't want to hurt me by stringing me along. He said I was "much too nice" for him and that I "deserved better" than him. He sent me a lovely email yesterday...

"I want to maintain our friendship. I REALLY enjoy your company and hope that in time we can become ‘family’….just my way of describing people that I have chosen to be part of my life forever.

I am glad that I met you [Monty]. And I am not going to disappear unless you need me to.

Now, go and get laid will you...!"

I really like Bruce, I had a great time getting to know him, spending time with him, and I thoroughly enjoyed sleeping with him!!! We had a great 4 weeks together, but now it's time to move on for both of us. He's going to start dating other guys, and I'm going to take his email advice and get laid!!! LOL

And the great thing is I've made myself another friend! I truly hope that we'll be able to build on the friendship that we've started. I suppose the only thing that did get me down a bit was the fact that I seem to have a knack for finding and falling for guys that end up wanting to be friends! BUT, if there's one thing that I've learned about myself over the past twelve months, it's that I'm a pretty resilliant kinda guy! A couple of nights of good sleep, a great night out last night (dinner, a few beers, a long chat and lots of laughs) with my mate Muzbot and I'm feeling fine! And ready to shag! The boys of Sydney...Watch out!!! he he he!

Quick update...

OK OK, I'm being harassed left right and centre about my, errrm, abstinent lifestyle with Bruce. It's now been 4 weeks since my last shag and I've decided that I'm going to have to get me a shag. It's not going to happen with Bruce; I just get the feeling he's not ready for it, and perhaps will never be, with me anyway. I think he's a smashing guy, but I think I shall have to wind back a bit on how much I see him. The thing is, when I am with him, I'm having fun, and don't mind just sleeping with him. But, yes, Monty is still human after all and has needs! So, if Bruce isn't going to put out, then I shall have to find me another man! Which means either hanging out in bars (soooo not appealing at the moment) or back to Gaydar dating. Alas, my useless PC at home has now officially carked it and so I can't log onto GD! Oh, the quandary!!! I have to take it to a man to fix this weekend, but until then, it's going to be a loooooong week! Thankfully, I'm seeing Bruce on Wednesday night which will be enough to keep me distracted, but will also increase the level of my ummm, need! Hmmmm, I think I should have had me a back-up plan!

PS...

I just thought I'd add a small'ish comment after receiving feedback last night and today about my post of yesterday. Firstly, I hope I didn't come across as being negative or distraught, as I'm not. Yes, I'd like to see more develop but I'm not desperate to have a boyfriend NOW! I am really really liking what Bruce and I currently have, and so Tom, I agree, no need to rush - I'm content to let things just happen or not happen as the case may be. Worst case, I've found myself a friend, best case...who knows! A snuggle buddy is a great thing to have and he's sensational at snuggling! Over the next four weeks, I look forward to getting to know him better and better and then, when I return, hopefully, we can resume where we left off and go from there!

Thanks everyone for your care and concern! But no need to worry! Monty is in a good space at the moment! :-)

And this is the picture that my employer has used for my internal Directory listing. Not sure whether I like it or not...

As Good As It Gets...?

This is a bit of a miscellaneous blog really, as there's a couple of things on my mind.


Firstly, I'm cheesed off with my home PC, as it's got narky and decided not to work! Extremely frustrating as I cannot now access my Hotmail account which is my main personal email address nor can I access Gaydar. This (GD) has not been as vital, as my time is otherwise occupied but still, I'm a popular boy - I like to keep my fingers in the dating pie so to speak.


Speaking of which, I had a lovely and most unexpectedly involved weekend with Bruce. Originally, we had intended on meeting up on Friday night - he had a work Do on, and I was attending a charity Trivia night with Evan and McDreamy and we were going to meet later on. As it turned out, his work Do was boring as, and so he came early and joined our Trivia table. And of course, won the major raffle prize (3 nights accommodation at some hotel on Bondi Beach) and a random prize (a champagne bucket). I got to keep the champers bucket! But I digress. Original plan was for me to spend Friday night at his place and that was it for the weekend - we weren't going to see one another after that. Saturday morning came and went with me still in his bed, eventually being dragged out at 12.15 for a shopping expedition in the city. Let me tell you, this man can shop!!! I'm a fan! And he loves my favourite store, David Jones'! What a man! He was originally going to drop me home after that however instead, invited me to go out with him to another charity thing that he was attending...believe it or not, another Trivia night! Not being one to pass up a Trivia night (and more particuarly, to spend more time with him), I agreed! Another fun night was had and again, I fully expected him to drop me home afterwards. But, he suggested I stay the night with him and I wasn't going to say no to an offer like that. Sunday morning was another highly pleasant sleep-in, followed by a stroll around Surry Hills and another bout of retail therapy! I ended up buying myself this funky hat which I am quite excited about now! He eventually dropped me back at my house, wearing mostly his clothes (as I hadn't been prepared for an all weekend stay) at around 2pm yesterday. It was such a lovely day that I then toddled on down to my local park and read the paper in the warm Spring sun. A perfect end to the weekend!


BUT, and there's a "but", whilst it was a very very good weekend, we did have a big chat on Saturday morning whilst lying in bed. He sincerely feels that he cannot give me any more than he is currently giving, which, for all intents and purposes, is a friendship with snuggling benefits. He doesn't think that he's able to embark on a romantic relationship with anyone at the moment and as much as he really likes me, does want to be upfront with me in this respect. Naturally, I'd like more with him as I am really attracted to him, and he knows that. But, after the debacle that was the Gent in Question in May/June, I have been quite cautious in opening up my emotions to early in the piece (and having them somewhat exploited). And so, I haven't been as affected as on previous occasions. He did fully expect that I wouldn't want to see him again, however I do actually like him - I think he's a great guy! I really get on with him, enjoy his company, his sense of humour, and his very hot body! he he he! I was only thinking this yesterday - with all the other guys that I've spent a weekend with, by the end of the weekend, I'm really feeling the need for some space, some Monty time. With Bruce, there wasn't that feeling at all...I would have happily stayed with him on Sunday, happily slept over Sunday night - I just am really relaxed around him! So, I am very open to continuing our friendship "as is". I think that what we have is as good as it's going to get and to be honest, I can't be unhappy with that. I would love it to be more, but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He's concerned that my friends will think that he's taking advantage of me, in not allowing me to find a "real" boyfriend. But, I'm not particularly concerned about that...I have only 4 weeks to go before I go overseas and so I don't want to embark on a new relationship at this late stage. I'd much prefer to keep things as they are with him, our Friends with (snuggling) Benefits relationship and once I return from O/S, then start thinking about dating again. He's worried that our relationship is somewhat unorthodox, but you know, I've lived a very orthodox life up until a year ago, and so I don't really mind if it's a bit out there! Who cares! I've found a lovely guy, whose company I enjoy, who's fabulous to sleep with, who doesn't seem to mind hanging around me and who is, for want of a better description, a Clayton's boyfriend...the boyfriend you have when you don't have a boyfriend. Perfect for me at the moment, with my lack of motivation to date and limited timeframe. And the fact that we're not shagging isn't even particuarly worrying me either! Who'd have thought!!! It's been 3 weeks without it and I'm coping remarkably well!


So that's about it for the moment. I have had an awesome weekend, this week is a short one and this weekend is a long one! We're (McDreamy, Evan and myself and quite possibly Bruce) going down the coast to the beach house, and if the weather's like it was this past weekend, it will be FABULOUS!!!

You've Got Mail...

I found myself unexpectedly at home this evening (Saturday). And so, thought it would be a good opportunity to catch up on some DVD's and bad take-away food. So I toddled off to the video store (why do we still call it a Video store when it doesn't actually have videos?) and rented myself a couple of DVD's, purchased a tub of chocolate icecream, and then drove to KFC and got myself a really unhealthy serve of fried chicken and the delicious KFC chips and came back home! It was going to be the perfect night in!

As it turned out, I flicked on the TV and an ad for the night's movie was on..."You've Got Mail" starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. I saw this movie when it came out - I think it must've been 1998/99 - and I loved it at the time. It was at the time when email was really becoming entrenched in life and the internet was passing from that interesting but useless phase into a quite handy tool to have. And that movie opened my mind the world of internet dating! It's your very typical Hollywood romantic comedy, but I still thought it was awesome. I actually went out and bought the soundtrack to remind me of the movie!

But I haven't seen it since, and so when I saw it advertised tonight, I thought, hang the DVD's - I'll watch the TV movie! It's soooo perfect, the way everything works out - and of course, it only ever happens like that in the movie. But I've talked to so many guys who keep saying that you'll never find love over the 'net, only sex. But, to be honest, I would like to believe that love can be found on the 'net, just as it can be found across a crowded nightclub, or in a pub, or at a friend's dinner party - it's just one of the tools that you use to meet guys. It's happened for my lovely friend Evan - he met McDreamy via Gaydar. In fact, I was having dinner with him on Thursday night and he told me how much he loved McDreamy. This is nothing new to me, he tells me that all the time. I had lunch with McDreamy today and you know what, he told me how much he loves Evan. This is also nothing new to me. These two guys have met and have clicked and it's fantastic to see their relationship grow and develop. I am constantly telling them that they give me hope that I too will be able to find a guy that I can love, and that will love me back. And watching the movie tonight, well, it was lovely! A fairytale - yes - but still, I would like to believe that it is possible! Naive - perhaps - but hey, I'm a hopeless romantic!

And so, I'll persist with Gaydar for the time being. At the moment, I'm not doing a lot with it, as I'm rather taken with Bruce, and who knows what will happen. I'm trying to be sensible about it, taking it one day at a time - don't want to run too far ahead of myself. But, I'm open to all possibilities with him so we'll see how it goes. He's away this weekend as well, and it's killing me! I can't wait to see him again. What's worse, he's out of mobile range, so I can't even talk or text him! Arghhhh! So, bring on the end of the weekend, when I can at least talk to him again, or better still, see him! I must say, it's wreaking havoc with my work - I'm tired all the time as I don't really sleep that much when I'm with him and I am easily distracted by his emails and texts.

Anyway, it's now 1:10am Sunday morning and my bed (and all the lovely new linen) is calling me. I do hope everyone else is having themselves a great weekend!

Bruce...

Well, he's hot as, a very sweet man, and when I mentioned that I blog and that I needed a nom de plume for him, he requested BRUCE! So, Bruce it is.

He was away for the weekend, which made it drag somewhat...thankfully, I had my shopping expedition on Saturday, Single Guy's birthday party on Saturday night, and Sunday martini's with my mate Muzbot to keep me occupied. But, I staggered home at 7.30pm Sunday and he sent me a message..."I'm on my way over". Bliss! It was soooo lovely to see him again - we just sat on the couch, consumed a bottle of Shiraz Viognier and chatted for a couple of hours. I then suggested he view my new bedroom linen and so he did...and it passed muster with him! yay!

Needless to say, I was a little tired on Monday, but I was one happy little vegemite! He was even more tired, but he invited me to dinner at his place and so I toddled on over last night and spent a very relaxing and really domestic evening with him. And then he coughed up with the "Bruce" comment. OK, it's not my favourite name, but thankfully, it's not his real name. I actually really really like his name, it suits him perfectly.

Tonight, I'm going home and sleeping - having had very little sleep over the past two nights! He is similarly shattered! But we have a dinner date tomorrow night which is very exciting!

I can't believe how much I'm gushing over him actually...I emailed my lovely friend Evan on Monday and the whole flipping email was about how wonderful "Bruce" was, how sweet he is, how HOT he is, blah blah blah, but I could not help myself! This is really not good...I need to get a handle on myself and control my emotions. . . it's just so damn difficult! ...sigh...

Needless to say, all other dates have been cancelled! Monty is smitten!