Autumn....Part II...

I was reading today in the Sunday Telegraph, an article by Jacinta Tynan and it kind of resonated with me - particularly in view of my last couple of blog entries. The article was entitled "Now is the winter of the single man's discontent". The interesting thing she said was about the behaviour of men once the seasons start to change from summer to winter.

She said "Summer is the season for distraction, idleness and eternal options, hardly conducive to forging long-term commitments or making decisions of any sort. But the shift in the weather has induced a last-minute scamble as men begin to panic at the prospect of a long, lonely winter." And she identified a trend that has been noticed - the "scattergun approach." What, you may enquire, is the scattergun approach?

"The phenomenon isn't documented, but is well known. With mere weeks until winter, men aren't being discerning in their pursuit, but are firing indiscriminately, with several girls (or guys) lined up on any given weekend."

I read this article and saw me!!! This is what I have been doing up until a few weeks ago! Certainly the "scattergun approach" has been my modis operandi - lining up a plethora of dates in any given week. And summer was certainly the season for frolicking, fun, and fucking! My so-called "slutty phase". But in the last few weeks I've been feeling the urge to calm down somewhat, to actually think about something a bit more long-term, more stable and lasting. I thought it was simply a manifestation of me moving on to the next stage of my life...moving past the "slutty phase" and into "relationship phase". But perhaps I'm wrong...perhaps, as Jacinta suggests, I'm just responding to the changing seasons - feeling a need for someone to snuggle with when it gets cold. Hmmmmm...something to think about!

Dating...

I was thinking the other day about my personal situation...I've been telling friends recently that I think I'm moving on from my so-called "slutty phase" and that I'm feeling ready to get into something a bit more long term. All well and good. Nice plan Monty.

The problem is that it feels like once you're on the Gaydar round-about, how do you know when to jump off? I meet a nice guy, and think...'hmmm, I like him'...but then, I get a message from another guy who seem just as lovely, good looking, grounded etc and so I wonder, could he be better? GD appears to be full of good looking and seemingly perfect men (and of course, the odd psycho), and it's quite intoxicating sometimes! The endless round of drinks with guys after work, the odd encounter or two, is very stimulating and flattering to a degree (except when you meet the aforementioned psycho - see last week's post). But sooner or later, you need to consciously step off the merry-go-round...the challenge is when? At what point do you decide 'this is the guy that I'm going to focus on' and not keep planning more dates with more guys 'just in case'???

It seems like the old-fashioned way of dating seemed a bit more straight forward..you met someone at a party, or in a bar, or at friends' places etc etc and liked them, asked them out and went from there. There was less distraction I suppose than GD with its plethora of men all looking and messaging and tempting you! You could focus on the one guy and not have to worry (as much) about getting waylaid by other guys who may or may not be better than the guy you were with.

And the other wicked thing about GD is the many opportunities for encounters...which, while highly enjoyable, can be very distracting and simply muddy the waters when one is looking for something a bit more meaningful and long term.

Any suggestions would be welcome! And any offers would also be welcome! he he he!