A final word...

I think that I would like to leave one last thing...one of my favourite songs, of course, it's Pet Shop Boys - they continue to write the soundtrack to my life. This song sums up perfectly the last 3 years of my life since coming out. It's soooo been worth it!

Was it worth it?

Well I don't know why
I was dreaming about you
but I do know that
I was dancing without you
Then you smiled
and I was lost
You fall in love
Why count the cost?
All I gave to you
All you made me do
I react when I hear people ask

Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth living for
Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth giving more

If I'd had my way
this would have happened much sooner
but until that day
it was only a rumour
All at once
you changed my life
and led me into paradise
where I had to do
what I wanted to
I react when I hear people ask

Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth living for
Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth giving more

I reserve the right to live
my life this way and I don't give
a damn when I hear people say
I'll pay the price that others pay

'cause it's worth it
Yes it's worth living for
'cause it's worth it
Yes it's worth living for

All I gave to you
All you made me do
I reactwhen I hear people ask

Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth living for
Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth giving more

And I reserve (What?)
the right to live (Where?)
my life this way (How?)
I couldn't give a damn when I (What?)
hear people say (Who?)
I'll pay the price that others pay

'cause it's worth it
Yes it's worth living for
'cause it's worth it
Yes it's worth giving more
AND IT'S WORTH IT!

x

Pet Shop Boys...

McBrad got me the new PSB album "Yes" (plus it's accompanying remix album "etc") as one of his anniversary presents to me a couple of weeks ago. OK, so I've professed my deep and abiding love for PSB before but this album is just awesome! Some of the tracks are totally hands-in-the-air dance songs - thoroughly infectious pop music that elevates your mood 1000%! They just get me with their music. Admittedly, they're not everyone's cup of tea, but they are soooo mine! It was two years ago that I saw them perform in Sydney (over Easter as well) and I can't get enough of them. So do yourself a favour and buy the new CD!!! They certainly get the BIG TICK from me! :-)

Oh the Shame...

Be prepared to be appalled by the following.

A flurry of late night texts last night led to me tearing across the city at 10pm enroute to McBrad's. Nothing new there. But you know that kinda zone you get into when driving somewhere familiar - you can kinda switch off and the car will just drive itself. Well, I had the radio on and I was in that zone. The station I was listening to was Mix 106.5 (wait, I haven't got to the REALLY appalling bit yet) and on comes Shania Twain singing "From This Moment On". Now I'm sure Shania is a lovely lady and yes, back in the early 90's, we all flirted with the pop/country thing (I even purchased "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" on CD) but "From This Moment On" always made me want to puke...it was such a pappy shmappy smarmy made-for-Westie/Bogan-wedding song, with all these lyrics about being "right beside you" and "you and I will never be apart" and "I give my hand to you" blah blah blah. Well anyway, it comes on and I find myself listening to the lyrics absentmindedly and I'm thinking how much I can relate to them and how they are expressing exactly how I feel about McBrad and then my mind wanders to thoughts of a wedding and...what the hell! I pull myself up, shocked and appalled that I'm actually relating to THAT song and that I'm even thinking about weddings! (and yes, you can now all gasp with dismay - we've now covered the really appalling aspects) I know I know, I had it coming, listening to Mix in the first place. And it was late at night, it had been about 14 hrs since I'd last seen McBrad and I was very excited to be on my way back to his place, with the promise of cuddles and snuggles...but it's still no excuse. I'm so ashamed! I mean, I've previously confessed to downloading Jason Donovan to my iPod but even that doesn't rank anywhere nearly as appalling as this.

Speaking of which (and our friend Tom will be delighted that I'm mentioning an Apple product), I did some more downloading today from iTunes - some more PSB, Shirley Bassey (love her version of Get This Party Started) and Justin Timberlake.

My car is now all mechanically done and, with the new tyres and brakes and stuff, is just marvellous! So my little holiday has been quite productive! :-)

Metamorphosis...

I was playing my favourite band Pet Shop Boys' album Bilingual the other night in my car on the way to McBrad's place and I heard the following words in "Metamorphosis" and they resonated with me big time!!!

Dreaming is easy life is tough I got the picture
The most important thing is not to end up bitter
'cause when you start to feel increasingly forlorner
woomph! love comes right around the corner
It may not last but here am I
once a caterpillar now a butterfly
It can seem strange but when you reminisce
It's all about change It's a metamorphosis

Obviously, my life over the past couple of years (since coming out) has certainly been about change, a metamorphosis if you will. But the thing that really clicked with me was the first bit - particularly given the events of 2008. Early January, I was ranting quite a bit - I was just a touch "bitter" and getting "increasingly forlorner" about my single status. But yes, "woomph! Love came, right around the corner" for me in the form of my gorgeous McBrad. Dunno what it is, but PSB once again, provide the soundtrack to my life.

In other topics, Wednesday night was just a marvellous night! I was sick with a cold, but it was State of Origin game II (Rugby League) and nothing was going to stop me from enjoying it. McBrad isn't the biggest fan of sport and the thought of sitting in a pub, watching two teams that he doesn't have any allegiance to, play a game that he has no interest in, really didn't float his boat. But, (and this is why I love him so much) knowing how much it meant to me, he came along. And saw a different side to me - the butch, footy watching, yelling-at-the-TV Monty! (yes, seriously) It was a SENSATIONAL win for Queensland - 30 to NIL - and so I was one extremely happy chap! I'm actually going to the decider here in Sydney in 3 weeks time - will be watching in the lap of luxury from our Private Suite - and now cannot wait!!!

But what really made my night was the fact that McBrad was willing to put himself out for me like that. He's just a gorgeous man, and I still can't believe how lucky I am!

Monty's Miscellaneous Musings...

Lots of little stuff really, nothing of any dramatic importance, so don't get too excited.

I'm in a rather strange mood today...not sure why. I borrowed the Pet Shop Boys DVD Pop Art off McDreamy on Friday and seeing as how it was a bit cold and overcast this morning, watched 40 of their videos from their very first one (East End Girls) to their quite recent ones (London, Home and Dry etc). I'm not normally a guy who watches TV or DVD's during the day, I always feel like I'm wasting the day do so. However, today I made an exception for the Boys. They are an incredibly talented duo and all of their videos are such pieces of art! It's amazing how long they have been going for and the fact that they can still be relevant! The lyrics in some of the songs just get me - I love that when a song just speaks to you and so many of theirs do!

I also went on a date last night - a Californian guy (which we - Jacqui, James and myself - call C3. This distinguishes him from The Original Californian - The OC - and another Californian that I had a couple of dates with back in March - NewC). So I met C3 at the Newtown Hotel for a couple of drinks and I've not actually been to the Newtown on a Saturday night...they play sensational music...all very gay, very daggy, very awesome pop! Felt relaxed with him straight away and the conversation was very easy. Found a little pizza place and had dinner with a lovely bottle of Brown Brothers Tarango. Dessert...well, let's just say that we went back to his place and I was it! ;-) OK, OK, I know, how very slutty of me on a first date, but hey, it's been 3 whole weeks since my last shag...it was killing me! It was a lovely night and C3 is a really great guy. He wants to see me again, and I wouldn't mind seeing him either, so we'll probably go out next Saturday night. He's just texted me and told me to keep August 2 free. He then texted me to say "Hope you're not afraid of heights"...what the...? Now I'm intrigued! For the record, I'm not afraid of heights, but the mind boggles as to what he's got planned! Watch this space for the report!

It's funny, I've started dating again...much less intensely than I was over summer of course...but I'm feeling a bit ambivalent about it all. I had a date on Monday night with a cute redhead and I enjoyed it, he was a good conversationalist, works for my favourite store (David Jones') and seems like a genuine guy. But I'm like...pfft! Even with C3, although he's very eager to see me again, and I'd like to as well, I'm still not feeling the intensity that he is. I suppose over the last month or so, I've been focussed on my friends, in particular Evan, McDreamy and Muzbot (and James and Jacqui of course, see them every day at work) and on building and reinforcing our friendships. And so dating has certainly been taking a back seat - more just an add-on than a major part of my life. I suppose after the experiences of May/June, I've become a little bit more cautious about throwing myself into a romance, of opening myself up to a guy I've just met, and retreated, to a degree, to the safety of friends. At the moment, I'm finding it much more rewarding emotionally to be with my friends and I've certainly done some serious opening up to them, which has been wonderful. They've been incredibly understanding and also proved themselves invaluable sources of information and advice. I started coming out just on a year ago now, but in many ways still feel new at this. I'm very comfortable with being gay, let me hasten to add, but there's still so much stuff that I don't know and so sometimes I feel a little bit of an amateur. Dunno, I'm probably just waffling here. :-) Let's move on shall we...

At the moment, I'm just waiting for James and Jacqui to finish their lunch and hopefully motivate themselves to accompany me to the Coffee and Chocolate Festival at the Rocks. I think these are probably the only things capable of warming me up on a day like this. (Well, naturally, a HOT guy would do the trick quite satisfactorily)

Hope everyone has had a great weekend!

Breakfast and other miscellaneous ramblings...

Woke up this morning (a first for me this weekend but that's another story) feeling refreshed and determined to enjoy today in its entirety! Jumped out of bed around 10.30am, had a shower and dressed myself. I really felt like some breakfast - unusual for me as I'm not really a brekkie kinda guy. And more specifically, felt like a ham and cheese croissant with an espresso. Not that difficult. Popped up to Crows Nest - the closest cafe area to me - to my fave cafe Crowzone. It was closed! Doh! So I wandered up Willoughby Rd trying to find 1. a cafe that was open and 2. one that served ham and cheese croissants. Not a difficult task in my mind, but apparently rather too tricky for the cafes that were open! I could get buckwheat pancakes or fennel and corn frittatas, but not a simple ham and cheese croissant! What the...?

So, drove to Artarmon, Chatswood and back to Wollstonecraft and still no luck! I ended up going to the supermarket to purchase the individual components and they didn't have any croissants so I ended up buying a loaf of bread instead. Came home and made myself ham and cheese melts and ate them, reading the paper and drinking an espresso. This all took around about 90 mins to do (from the initial leaving home to sitting down to eat), so it actually became LUNCH! Crazy! Anyway, that's my rant for the day.

Saturday night - yes, the trashy night did indeed happen! Met my friends Baz and Waz at 8.30pm at the Columbian - pretty quiet. Had a couple of G&T's there and a good chat. Left around 10pm and Baz went home - poor boy has been down with the flu and only dragged himself out of bed because he'd promised me the trashy night. So Waz and I were left, so Waz decided to take me to the Stonewall. I have heard that the Stonewall was a bit of a twink pub/club and it was true! Lots of younger guys, and a few older ones (not sure which I fit into, definitely not the "younger guys" but also don't feel like an "older guy" either)...lots of eye candy that's for sure! We had a couple of drinks and enjoyed the scenery, but then Waz decided it was time for me to meet some of the cute guys I was admiring! I'm not very good at just walking up to a strange guy and starting a conversation (nothwithstanding my adventures in Berlin and Prague) and was reluctant to do so on Saturday night. So Waz just walked up to to this reaaly good looking guy and introduced himself, introduced me and then turned away! And so I was left talking to this guy...actually a very friendly guy, from the country (Wagga Wagga), in for the long weekend with his friends. They had spent all day at the races and had ended up at Stonewall - unfortunately he was straight (which just added to the appeal) which gives rise the question as to what he was doing in a gay pub - I didn't have the wits about me to question that! We chatted for about 20 mins and then he left with his friends. Waz left shortly thereafter, but not before introducing himself and me to another guy who was standing next to me at the bar. 26 yrs old, lives just around the corner from me, works at my favourite store (David Jones') and his name is the same as mine! He's only been in Sydney for about a month and so didn't know many people. And cute as!!! So we chatted for about an hour before he too, decided to leave. By that stage, I was feeling a bit more confident and so started chatting to another guy; his friends met him later on and so chatted to them as well. The place was cranking by this stage and eventually, one of his friends said he was leaving, and asked me to leave with him! Not being the sort to say no to a good looking guy, I accepted his invitation. And so, found myself at 4 in the morning, going for it with this rather gorgeous English guy at his place in Alexandria. Ahhh, yes, the slutty stage did emerge again! Well and truly! But hey, it was a long weekend!

Last night, my friends James and Jacqui took me out for a quiet chardy and dinner at one of our local pubs, the Commodore. A most pleasant and chilled out way to spend an evening. I couldn't have handled anything too hardcore anyway, so this suited me to a T!

So the weekend has been almost exactly what I expected, in fact better in some ways! The PSB's were sensational, the Trashy Night was, well, trashy...but FUN! I can see the appeal that the Oxford St strip has to many guys, but I still don't think it's my scene. I'm too much of a dinner partying, cafe latte sipping and chardonnay swilling North Shore type to get into the club scene in any major way. Once in a while (very long while) it's fine and fun but that's it.

I certainly hope everyone else had themselves a grand ol' time over the long weekend! Look forward to reading all the reports over the course of the next few days!

The Sodom and Gommorah Show...

Well, last night I attended the Pet Shop Boys concert at the Hordern Pavillion at Fox. With friends! Yes, that's right, I did find some people to go with. It was most unexpected to be honest, I had decided to go solo when I recieved a call from a client who is also gay and has become a friend (as much as a client can be a friend...it's a fine line). He and his partner have been shopping for a new house and were going to an auction on Thurs morning, so I asked him to let me know how they went. He rang (they were unsuccessful) but we got chatting about the weekend and I mentioned that I was going to PSB. He said that he really wanted to go, but didn't think there'd be tix left. Having only just purchased my ticket about an hour previous to our conversation, I assured him that there were. He wanted to check with his partner first but 15 mins later, it was all sorted.

So, 6pm last night I fronted up to their house, they made me dinner, and we had a couple of drinks and off to the concert we went.

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY FAB-U-LOUS!!!!!! How good are these guys, mid-40's and still pumping out great music! I read a review recently that said that their latest album, Fundamental, is their best album in a decade, pure vintage PSB, and it is a great album. The fact that they headlined the V Festival last weekend speaks volumes about their ongoing influence and relevance!

The demographic of the audience also spoke volumes about their influence and relevance...to the 30+ market. Hardly any youngsters there...lots of my age bracket up to the mid 50's - mostly gay (naturally) but still there were straight middle-aged couples there too! And the oldd 30something girl with her somewhat reluctant and uncomfortable boyfriend (and that speaks volumes about how much he obviously likes her). There was one couple like that just in front of us...he did look uncomfortable but I can hardly blame him - he was HOT and we were all checking him out! Poor boy! Daniel in the lions den and all that!

So I had a great time - danced and sang along to all their classics as well as the material from Fundamental - the encore was brilliant, culminating in "Go West", which if my memory serves me correct, was HUGE at the time of their last visit here in the early 90's. It's so anthemic and the crowd LOVED it! It's amazing to be in a crowd that is 95% male who are all singing along at the top of their voices...incredible! We came very close to drowning out the Boys - fantastic! They eventually came back on stage to take their final bows and were pursuaded to sing one last song..."Being Boring". Which just took the cake in my books - it's a song which has lots of meaning for me, for all sorts of reasons - it is a melancholy kinda song, but also very reassuring. It was a wonderful way to conclude the concert!

So night one of my long weekend in Sydney has been AWESOME! My friend Baz just sms'ed me with the time and location to meet up tonight for our trashy night out and I'm excited!

A long weekend...

It seems like EVERYONE is going away for the Easter long weekend...with the exception of poor ol' me! I've basically invited every person I know to attend the Pet Shop Boys concert with me, and they're all not going to be here! It's so depressing! I may have to go all by myself, and that's always a risky thing...Monty, in a crowd of men, couple of drinks, dancing to PSB...I'm seriously worried that the "slutty phase" will re-emerge!

Notwithstanding that fact, it should be a good weekend! Two of the friends that I went to MG with, Baz and Waz, have decided that I don't get out enough in "the scene", and so are taking me on a trashy night out on Oxford St on Saturday night! I've not really had a night out in the clubs so it should prove to be interesting at worst, and heaps of fun at best. I'm not really a clubber, however now and then, I don't mind the odd boogey on the dance floor! And having Baz and Waz looking after me should ensure that I don't mis-behave...too much!

Sunday, my friends James and Jacqui have booked me for I don't know what! My birthday is next Tuesday, so it's an early celebration of that...I'm just not sure how we are celebrating - they are not saying! Not sure if I should be worried or not!

And Monday, I'm sleeeeeeeping! Recovery! It will be bliss!

Despite Tuesday being my birthday (I shall be turning, ahem, 31...and some months), I'm not looking forward to it at all. I've had a painful tooth over the last few weeks, which has been kept at bay with the assistance of sweet drugs! (prescription drugs of course) But come Tuesday, I'm going to the Dentist, where they shall knock me out and rip out the offending molar! So methinks Monty will be a rather miserable chap on Tuesday evening! 'twill be soup for dinner I fear!

I'm rewarding myself with a post-birthday massage with my hunky masseur on Wednesday evening...ahhhhhh, massage! mmmmmmm...

Have a great long weekend everyone...particularly all you who are heading out of the city!

Autumn...

I woke up this morning feeling fabulous! Not because anything marvellous is happening in my life or anything - it's just the weather! I love this time of year! April is always such a lovely month (yes, yes, I know it's only the 31st March but it's April tomorrow) - clear skies, cool but dry, and the deciduous trees make a magnificent display in the street next to mine! I've always found that my mood is lifted when it's like this.

You can just sniff winter around the corner, with it's log fires (well, at least here on the Nth Shore, people do have log fires and they smell wonderful in the neighbourhood), crisp mornings, blue blue skies - I've always got so much more energy in cooler weather! Coming from Nth Qld, where mid-winter is the equivalent of April in Sydney, I can't get enough of the cold! Bring it on!!! It's always a remarkable phenomenon to me, the fact that as soon Daylight Savings ends, it suddenly gets cooler - or at least it seems like it does! Was it just me, or did anyone else miss the fact that DLS was finishing last Sunday? I woke up, toddled around home, doing my usual Sunday stuff and turned on the TV at 6pm to watch the news and the news wasn't on! I was so confused - I actually ended up ringing up a friend who advised me to change my clocks! How embarassing!

And that's the other thing...as soon as it starts getting cool, I get into this retro-80's mood! I've been playing all my old music today - Kylie's first couple of albums, Pet Shop Boys, Faith (George Michael) and yes, even Richard Marx (collective gasp). Fabulous! I don't know why I get this way, but unfailingly it happens! When I used to live with flat-mates, they dreaded this time of year...but luckily, now that I live alone, it's not an issue - well, maybe my neighbours may be objecting, but they don't count!

And speaking of 80's pop, Pet Shop Boys are in town! And I'm currently trying to locate friends who would like to go next Friday (yes, Easter Friday) to their concert at the Hordern Pavillion - ahhh the Hordern, such fond memories for me from Mardi Gras! I am a HUGE PSB fan, and so I am fanging to see them!