I've been thinking about this a lot over the last couple of weeks, essentially since I had The Californian over for dinner. We both wanted an easy night in and so I made some dinner and then we watched a DVD. Now, we've both had some long conversations since MG and our relationship has become one of friendship rather than anything more involved. And so, when we sat down to watch the DVD, I let him sit on the couch and I sat on a separate chair. He though, indicated that he wanted me to sit on the couch too, between his legs and lay against him. Now, he's a hot man and I'm certainly not going to say no to an invitation like that. And so, that's how we watched the DVD. I really enjoyed it; a feeling of closeness and warmth. There wasn't anything overwhelmingly sexual about it, we didn't make out or run our hands over each other or anything. We simply sat/lay there together and watched the movie. It was lovely.
And this is the question I have...all the previous times that I've snuggled like this, it's always led to sex. Which is more than fine! BUT, is snuggling with a friend a common thing in the gay world? Can friends snuggle without the sexual overtones? Or was this some sort of one-off glitch in the matrix that shouldn't happen again?
To be honest, I'd love to be able to do this with my other gay friends...I really enjoyed the feeling and I think it's a great way to express one's feelings of friendship, kinship and affection...but is it too risky? Am I playing with fire by putting myself in a position where something more can happen which could affect the viability of our friendship? Or does this happen all the time and am I just being paranoid?
It's also Pink Shirt Thursday boys! The three gay guys in my team are all wearing ours - are you wearing yours??? I will try and post a picture tonight when I get home.
Showing posts with label The Californian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Californian. Show all posts
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
Mardi Gras 07...Part II...
It's been a week since the last entry and what can I say...I've been busy! I think I consumed more alcohol in the past 4 days than I have in the previous 4 months! I've killed a considerable number of my brain cells, but I think they drowned in the quantity rather than being killed by the alcohol itself!
But it has been weighing on my mind, the fact that I still had more MG feedback...so here goes Part II.
To lead in...a quote from the original blog entry..."But what made the night stand out particularly were things that I had never expected."
3. One of the guys I had arranged to meet up with, Guy no. 1, messaged me later that night. By that stage, I had just left The Californian, and so it was perfect timing. We met up, outside the Gaydar tent (highly appropriate as we had first met via GD) at 3.30am. It was a kind of a strange experience for a first time meet, no drink/coffee in hand, in a unique environment, with all sorts walking/staggering by; the noise of the revelry requiring us to talk rather loudly! But he seemed like an interesting guy and the conversation flowed. We ended up walking around the buildings and found ourselves a planter box and perched ourselves on the edge and kept talking. And talking. And talking! It was quite an incredible experience - and one I would never have expected at the MG afterparty - having a 90 minute CONVERSATION with a really lovely guy! Both of us were relatively sober, having both stopped alcoholic intake at about the same time (midnight) and so the conversation was reasonably intelligent and quite varied. We just clicked! It was FANTASTIC! And I never would have thought I would say that about having carried on a conversation at Mardi Gras! My expectations were, ahem, slightly less to do with the organ between the ears, and more to do with the organ between ones legs! We left the party at 5am and I was elated that I had made a friend! What's the odds??? We met up last Wednesday for a couple of drinks after work; another interesting conversation entailed. We had a nice chat on the phone last night and we're currently trying to schedule ourselves another outing, hopefully later this week. The guy is a lovely man; he only came out NYE06 and only registered with Gaydar in December so we have a lot in common to discuss, similar issues to address and I think we're in pretty much the same place in life.
4. The final unexpected thing to come from MG didn't actually hit me until a couple of days later. I was meeting up with a friend at the Columbian on Tuesday evening, and as I work in the city, thought it would be just as quick to walk there than catch a taxi. And it was a pleasant evening so I was actually looking forward to a brisk stroll. As I walked up Oxford St, for the first time, I suddenly felt comfortable in my skin. I wasn't slinking up Oxford St, worried that someone might see me and think I was gay. I was strollling up Oxford St with confidence, not caring who saw me, and what implications they may take from that. I am a gay man, and I was meeting a gay friend at a gay bar, and who cares! It felt awesome! And as the realization hit me, I thought about why I was suddenly feeling this way. And fundamentally, it was due to the Mardi Gras. I know some Sydney gays disparage MG, refuse to attend or just ignore it, but despite the overriding shallowness (is there such a word?), there is a message in MG of acceptance. And really, it was in attending it, being part of it, walking around MG holding a guy's hand, snogging him for all to see, bumping and grinding with some sweaty guy on the dance floor (in the literal sense of the word, not the implied sense...get your minds OUT of the gutters) AND NO-ONE CARED that really helped me feel comfortable in who I was...I'm a guy who likes other guys! And that is fine!
But it has been weighing on my mind, the fact that I still had more MG feedback...so here goes Part II.
To lead in...a quote from the original blog entry..."But what made the night stand out particularly were things that I had never expected."
3. One of the guys I had arranged to meet up with, Guy no. 1, messaged me later that night. By that stage, I had just left The Californian, and so it was perfect timing. We met up, outside the Gaydar tent (highly appropriate as we had first met via GD) at 3.30am. It was a kind of a strange experience for a first time meet, no drink/coffee in hand, in a unique environment, with all sorts walking/staggering by; the noise of the revelry requiring us to talk rather loudly! But he seemed like an interesting guy and the conversation flowed. We ended up walking around the buildings and found ourselves a planter box and perched ourselves on the edge and kept talking. And talking. And talking! It was quite an incredible experience - and one I would never have expected at the MG afterparty - having a 90 minute CONVERSATION with a really lovely guy! Both of us were relatively sober, having both stopped alcoholic intake at about the same time (midnight) and so the conversation was reasonably intelligent and quite varied. We just clicked! It was FANTASTIC! And I never would have thought I would say that about having carried on a conversation at Mardi Gras! My expectations were, ahem, slightly less to do with the organ between the ears, and more to do with the organ between ones legs! We left the party at 5am and I was elated that I had made a friend! What's the odds??? We met up last Wednesday for a couple of drinks after work; another interesting conversation entailed. We had a nice chat on the phone last night and we're currently trying to schedule ourselves another outing, hopefully later this week. The guy is a lovely man; he only came out NYE06 and only registered with Gaydar in December so we have a lot in common to discuss, similar issues to address and I think we're in pretty much the same place in life.
4. The final unexpected thing to come from MG didn't actually hit me until a couple of days later. I was meeting up with a friend at the Columbian on Tuesday evening, and as I work in the city, thought it would be just as quick to walk there than catch a taxi. And it was a pleasant evening so I was actually looking forward to a brisk stroll. As I walked up Oxford St, for the first time, I suddenly felt comfortable in my skin. I wasn't slinking up Oxford St, worried that someone might see me and think I was gay. I was strollling up Oxford St with confidence, not caring who saw me, and what implications they may take from that. I am a gay man, and I was meeting a gay friend at a gay bar, and who cares! It felt awesome! And as the realization hit me, I thought about why I was suddenly feeling this way. And fundamentally, it was due to the Mardi Gras. I know some Sydney gays disparage MG, refuse to attend or just ignore it, but despite the overriding shallowness (is there such a word?), there is a message in MG of acceptance. And really, it was in attending it, being part of it, walking around MG holding a guy's hand, snogging him for all to see, bumping and grinding with some sweaty guy on the dance floor (in the literal sense of the word, not the implied sense...get your minds OUT of the gutters) AND NO-ONE CARED that really helped me feel comfortable in who I was...I'm a guy who likes other guys! And that is fine!
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