A piece of history...

I came across this pic today - it's me aged about 3'ish I suppose (so yes, a loooong time ago) - and so thought I'd post it...a little piece of my personal history. Anyone else care to post a pic of them as a junior??? :-)

It's the start of my holidays...!

Well, almost! Only 4 hrs left of work and then my holidays start and I'm off for 6 whole weeks! I'm going through my work like a whirling dervish at the moment and have only 3 relatively minor items on my list of work-things-to-do still not done. I'm starting to feel excited!!!

Walked outside briefly today and felt it...that first hot breath of summer! FAB-U-LOUS! It's so close, you can feel it. Of course, the irony is that I'm about to fly over to the Northern Hemisphere where the temperature is heading southward! So typical that the weather NOW starts tantalising me with that first flush of summer! Damn! Well, at least Egypt will be warm!

http://www.blogfriday.net/

Where's the week gone...?`

I'm exhausted! This week has flown past and I've been absolutely flat out! It's been a fun week, but I still can't quite believe that it's Thursday night already! I've been going flat strap at work and I'm still struggling to finish everything I need to before COB tomorrow...but finish it I will.

It was great to meet up with Evan, McDreamy and Muzbot on Tuesday night - my three favourite friends in one place - how good can it get! Evan and McDreamy left around 9pm and then Muz and I got down to seriously deep stuff; we started talking about my parents' reaction to my coming out and even though it's been almost a year since then, it's still a topic that gets me emotional. I don't think Muz was expecting quite the reaction that I had, and to be honest, neither did I. I've been always quite good at compartmentalising my life, and so I generally just try not to think about my parents because it is still a very painful issue for me. But when I discussed it with my friend Jacqui several weeks ago, I burst into tears in the middle of Bar 333 on George St - not exactly what a 36 yr old guy would normally do. However, because I'd had this release, I thought when I was talking about it with Muz that I'd be in a better position to cope with it...but apparently not! But it was still good to talk to him about it, and I really appreciated his support. So the night was a really good one for me.

Last night, I caught up with C3 - he's been in the Simpson desert for the past couple of weeks and this was actually the first time we've met up face to face since we broke up. But it was really good actually - had some laughs and I caught him up on my past few weeks (Bruce and Sam).

And today, worked my arse off...didn't leave work until 8pm which is appalling for me! BUT only ONE DAY TO GO!!!!! And then I'm on holidays! Yay! Can't wait!

The Calm before the storm...

What a lovely weekend! I had a smashing date with Sam on Friday night - we went to a nice little Italian restaurant on Norton St in Leichhardt (Little Italy for non-Sydney-siders) and then wandered back to his place afterwards and watched the original Hairspray on DVD - we had planned on seeing the new version (the John Travolta one) at the movies however Sam thought I needed to see the Ricki Lake/Divine version first. And I must admit, I really was feeling like a night in...snuggling with him on the couch, watching the movie, was a far more pleasant way to spend a couple of hours than sitting at a cinema.

He has one very bad habit of which I have become aware - he doesn't sleep in! Once he's awake in the morning, he's up and at 'em! Whereas me - well, the more sleeping in, the better! It's one of my favourite things to do on a weekend! And particularly sleeping in with a hot guy like Sam...mmmmmmmm! Anyway, a minor fault which I shall endeavour to work on...maybe!

The rest of the weekend was quiet and relaxed, which is probably a good thing, considering the insanity that's going to be my life come Friday, when I finish work for 6 glorious weeks!!! I think this weekend was the calm before the storm! Next Friday night, I'm celebrating my freedom with drinks (and no doubt more drinks) with some work colleagues and whoever else wants to join me! Sunday, I'm having a smallish soiree at my place for a few of my friends which will doubtless be quite alcoholic and, I'm expecting, reasonably loud. And from then on, it's the lead up to my departure and so it's going to be busy busy busy! So I needed this weekend just to get a bit of zen in my life!

Speaking of which, yesterday (Sunday) was a bit of a day for eye-candy! It was smashing weather, maybe 22, 23 degrees C and buckets of sunshine! After lunch, I wandered down to the park and sat there in the sun reading my book and enjoying the open air. And enjoying the three hot, shirtless, straight guys who were playing with the football. Yummmo! I assumed they were straight because their girlfriends were sitting in the shade cheering them on. Wenches!

And I discovered the joys of late Sunday afternoon grocery shopping. Normally, I do my groceries around lunchtime on a Sunday, however due to the abovementioned expedition to the park, went much later yesterday. Well, it seems that all the delicious daddies come out in force at the supermarket late on Sundays! The Lower North Shore is a rather straight area of Sydney - one can often feel like the "only gay in the village" - although doubtless there are still gay guys there. Well, I'm one; Muzbot and Tom also live nearby, so there's at least 3 of us! LOL Anyway, walzing around the supermarket aisles was a rather pleasant experience with all these DILF's walking around with their wedding rings, kids and shopping trolleys! sigh...

A good weekend all round. And it's my last week at work! Yay! I'm counting the hours left at work now which is rather exciting!

Monty, Monty, Monty...

Guys, I worry myself sometimes, as I am totalling FANGING to see Sam again! That being said, I am seeing him in about 2 hrs time, but I just soooo want to see him sooner than that! Am I hopeless or what!!! I know what you'll be thinking..."Monty, Monty, Monty, get a hold of yourself!".

I'm going to have a great weekend and I hope you all have one too!!!

What a great week I'm having...

Yes indeedy! After a rather good weekend, this week has been a delight! I stayed in on Monday and Tuesday nights and got myself two early nights in a row which made for a very well rested, and consequently quite perky, Monty at work. This meant that I've been zinging through my work which is always a good thing! AND I had a date with Sam last night! A very GOOD date! He's lovely - even better when I'm sober (which I was last night). We just had dinner and a bottle of wine, followed by some Gelato and coffee. Nothing spectacular but I didn't need that - I was enjoying his company too much to notice!

AND he's a fabulous kisser! He was keen to see me again, and so we're going out for dinner tomorrow night as well! And I can't wait!

Does this all sound familiar? LOL It's a bit tricky, as I fly out in two weeks to the day, so I'm not sure how things are going to go. I do like him, and he seems to like me. But things will only just be starting when I go o/s and I'll be away for 5 weeks so who knows!

But I am going to enjoy it while I am here, and see what the lay of the land is when I get back. Can't do any more than that.

Pics pics and more pics...

Pics from the APEC weekend down the coast...

Swan Lake at its best...

Evan braving the muddy waters...

McDreamy being safety conscious in his bicycle helmet...

Australia's national flower - the Wattle...
New South Wales' state flower - the Waratah...
Monty half tanked on the back deck...

The gorgeous blue sky and an arty shot of yours truly...
McDreamy indulges in a bit of domestic violence with Evan! ;-)

Back into it...with a vengeance...!

"What's he back into?" I hear you ask. Well, if you read my previous post, you'll have half an idea! Yep, that's right folks - Monty got himself laid over the weekend...a couple of times! Wahooooo!

During the week, I actually realized that I did have a backup plan - I just hadn't really thought about it as such. I met Harry months ago - during my slutty summer in fact - and we had a one night thing. He's quite an attractive English guy, about 5'11", reddish blonde, a bit reserved, here with work. He was not interested in relationships as such, which suited me fine in summer - it was a bit of fun and that was it. He very coincidentally sms'd me a couple of weeks ago, suggesting we meet up again and I had put him off (as I was deeply into Bruce at that stage). So it was simply a matter of texting him and lo and behold, he was on my door step Friday night! Wahooo! Drought broken! (well, maybe not exactly a drought, more just a 4 week dry spell)

Saturday, I was having a lazy'ish arvo at home, reading the paper when my friend DG rang and asked if I felt like going for a drive. It was a gorgeous day outside and so I was more than happy to do so. He rocked up in his brand new convertible Audi TT!!! Sensational!!! The top was down and we were motoring all over the North Shore, looking fabulous and enjoying the buckets of sunshine (and the admiring, if slightly envious, glances of fellow motorists)! It was a great afternoon; and it was lovely to catch up with him as well!
Saturday night, it was McDreamy's official birthday celebrations and I did him up an arrangment as my gift - this is a pic of it. Evan made us dinner (rather declicious too) and then we toddled over to the Newtown Hotel for drinks. We were met there by one of Evan's friends, Sam - a tall, hairy and quite attractive gent! I am still pondering as to whether this was a set up by Evan or not...hmmm... Anyway, we stayed there for quite a few drinks, chatting our heads off and enjoying McDreamy's great selection (well, with one exception that we won't mention) of music on the jukebox. We then grabbed ourselves a cab and hit Manacle, a reasonably benign (well, it seemed rather benign, apart from the chain web in the middle of the floor) leather bar in Sydney. McDreamy had, earlier in the week, promised to find me a leatherman to shag - frankly, whilst a man in leather is quite nice, I wasn't particularly fussy - I just wanted a man to shag! I don't quite remember how long we stayed there; I think we had a couple of drinks before McDreamy and Evan decided to leave. They walked out the door, and Sam and I looked at each other and without a word, just started snogging like there was no tomorrow!!! We finally came up for air about 5 minutes later and he said "I've been wanting to do that to you all evening!"...wahooo! Needless to say, I invited him back home and so I got my second shag for the weekend! Fantastic! He's a lovely guy (aren't they all?), interesting, with a good conversational style, very nice furrrrrry chest, and errr, well, lots of other good stuff!!!
He left around 9am yesterday (he had a swimming class to go to) and so I went straight back to bed and caught some more zzzzz's! Evan rang at around 12.30pm and after a quick shower, the boys collected me for our Spit Bridge to Manly walk. Another gorgeous afternoon spent with two wonderful friends; the harbour was at its most spectacular with all the sail boats out, the water was a magnificent cobalt blue fading to torquiose near the shore and clear as! The walk itself is 9.4km's, mostly through the Sydney Harbour National Park, but also through touches of suburbia, along some beaches, a couple of parks and some towering cliffs. We ended up at the Bavarian Beer Cafe in Manly, beers (or in the case of Evan, glass of rose) in hand, an early dinner with the sun setting over the water. Delightful! The pics are from our walk...

So an action (in more ways than one) packed weekend for Monty - good food, good friends, good shags and plenty of alcohol! Who could want for more? :-) he he he! I'm certainly back into it - with a vengeance. I think a slutty couple of weeks before I hit Europe is on the cards! Wahooooo!

APEC Long Weekend...

It's now Friday and I'm only just getting to last weekend's activities. My lovely friend McDreamy has already done a post about the weekend so suggest you read that. But I must say, it was a fantastic weekend - so good just to get out of Sydney with two wonderful guys and relax big time at the beach house! We ate, drank, slept, and relished the excellent weather! Gloriously sunny days spent lying in the sun reading papers, playing Trivial Pursuit and of course, mountain bike riding through the Conjola National Park!

Highlights of the weekend:

1. Biking through the national park and getting nice and muddy! McDreamy's virgin bike got well and truly initiated!
2. Discovering that despite our very diverse backgrounds (me - finance, McDreamy - medical and Evan - design), we were very evenly matched at Trivial Pursuit! We all have our strengths of course, but my big weakness is SPORT! I'm crap at it - not surprisingly, McDreamy and Evan exploited that to the hilt! lol
3. Going to sleep on Friday night with the rain thundering down on the roof!
4. Waking up Saturday and the skies were blue and the sun was warm!
5. Spending time with two of my favourite friends!

I got some awesome photos on my new camera, but thanks to my useless PC, I can't upload them yet. I'm taking the PC into a man on the weekend who'll hopefully fix it and so as soon as it's done, I'll download them and post some!

Now, back to my Get-Monty-Laid-Mission! Have a great weekend everyone!

A parting of ways...

It was bound to happen eventually...I went over to Bruce's on Wednesday night for dinner and for a chat. We had our chat and fundamentally, he told me that he didn't think "we" had a future as a couple, that whilst he really likes me, enjoys my company etc, I'm not Mr Right for him. It didn't really come as a great surprise, and I'd much prefer he told me that now, then allowing things to go along as they had. He felt the same - he didn't want to hurt me by stringing me along. He said I was "much too nice" for him and that I "deserved better" than him. He sent me a lovely email yesterday...

"I want to maintain our friendship. I REALLY enjoy your company and hope that in time we can become ‘family’….just my way of describing people that I have chosen to be part of my life forever.

I am glad that I met you [Monty]. And I am not going to disappear unless you need me to.

Now, go and get laid will you...!"

I really like Bruce, I had a great time getting to know him, spending time with him, and I thoroughly enjoyed sleeping with him!!! We had a great 4 weeks together, but now it's time to move on for both of us. He's going to start dating other guys, and I'm going to take his email advice and get laid!!! LOL

And the great thing is I've made myself another friend! I truly hope that we'll be able to build on the friendship that we've started. I suppose the only thing that did get me down a bit was the fact that I seem to have a knack for finding and falling for guys that end up wanting to be friends! BUT, if there's one thing that I've learned about myself over the past twelve months, it's that I'm a pretty resilliant kinda guy! A couple of nights of good sleep, a great night out last night (dinner, a few beers, a long chat and lots of laughs) with my mate Muzbot and I'm feeling fine! And ready to shag! The boys of Sydney...Watch out!!! he he he!

Another meme...

This pic is a couple of years old...

Stole this Meme off Phil...

A is for age: 36
B is for booze: Absolutely!
C is for career: Personal Banker
D is for dad's name: Ray
E is for essential items to bring to a party: Champers of course
F is for favorite song at the moment: SexBomb - Tom Jones (sad, I know)
G is for guy: Love 'em...would like one at the moment...
H is for hometown: Townsville, Qld...escaped in 1990 (thank goodness)
I is for instruments you play: Violin (or at least, I used to play)
J is for jam or jelly you like: Apricot
K is for kids: None of my own, 1 nephew and 2 nieces
L is for living arrangements: Live on the North Shore, live by myself
M is for mom's name: Dorothy
N is for name: ummmm, Monty
O is for overnight hospital stays: About 36 yrs ago, when I was born.
P is for phobia[s]: No medically diagnosed ones...but I hate cockroaches
Q is for quote you like: "Do I make you horny baby, do I?" - ahhh, ya gotta love Austin Powers
R is for relationship that lasted the longest: 10 years...with my hairdresser. But as for romantic relationships...hmmm, about 4 weeks! Eeek!
S is for sexual position: A boy has to have some secrets...
U is for unique trait: An ever changing (as in on a daily basis) hair style
V is for vegetable you love: Sweet potato
W is for worst trait: A tendency to fall for guys who aren't falling for me!
X is for x-rays you've had: The usual dental ones, and an MRI
Y is for yummy food you make: Beer up the bum chicken of course! I'm world famous for it! :-)
Z is for zodiac sign: Aries (but it doesn't mean anything to me)

...and yes, there's no T...don't know why!

Firsts..
First job: Postage clerk
First screen name: bankerbj (and before you say anything, the "bj" bit are my initials and not anything else your smutty minds may come up with)
First funeral: My great uncle's - I was about 8 yrs old
First piercing: Haven't had any - probably never will...have a low pain threshold.
First tattoo: None...yet...
First credit card: David Jones' card...of course!
First kiss: Sheesh...this is getting personal...first proper kiss would be Andy, July 1, 1999 (I was a late starter)
First enemy: Hmmm, there's not anyone I can think of that I would call an enemy. I think hate is such a negative emotion which is more work than it's worth.
First favorite musician: Abba :-)

Lasts..

Last car ride: Sunday, coming home from the beach house
Last kiss: Bruce, last week - he's a good kisser, even if he doesn't put out! LOL
Last movie watched: Beaches (McDreamy brought down to the beach house every tear jerker girlie movie he could find)
Last beverage drank: WellBeing smoothie...yummmmmo!
Last food consumed: Dinner last night!
Last time showered: this morning
Last CD played: Rudebox - Robbie Williams
Last website visited: the website for our Paris hotel - booked our accommodation! yay!





Now..


Sex: Male
Birthday: 10 April 1971
Sign: Didn't I answer this already?
Siblings: 2 brothers - both older
Hair color: Medium Brown with blonde highlights (sounds so gay doesn't it)
Eye color: Green/blue
Shoe size: 7 1/2
Height: 5'9" (175 cm)
Clothes: Suit, shirt, tie, socks and my new boots! (I'm at work)
Hair: ummm, it's looking rather stylish today
Makeup: Does moisturiser count?
Emotion: excited (about my holiday) and not particuarly stressed by all this work that I have yet to do...
Boyfriend: I wish!





Future..
In an hour: Lunch
Tomorrow: Same as today really
Next week: ditto
Next month: I'll be in London, one day away from Cairo! wahoooo!
Next year: Hopefully settled with the man of my dreams!
5 years from now: Much more settled with aforesaid man of my dreams!!
10 years from now: Really settled with aforesaid man of my dreams!!!

Happy Birthday McDreamy...

It's my dear friend McDreamy's birthday today so feel free to drop on by his blog to read his story and wish him well. He's become, in a very short space of time, a big part of my life. He's my doctor, the boyfriend of my lovely friend Evan, and a good mate - and his musical taste is very similar to mine (which poor Evan has to cope with, with such good grace and humour) which makes for lots of fun whenever we go away for the weekend! :-)

Love ya to bits McDreamy - hope you had a lovely night last night, a great week ahead, and an even better 38th year!!!

Monty! xxx

Up up and away...part II...

I'm starting to get very excited now! I have less than 3 weeks of work left before I'm on 6 weeks' holiday and just over 4 weeks before I actually fly out of Sydney. I posted a blog a couple of weeks ago about booking my London flights with Virgin Atlantic and over the course of the last couple of days, have booked more flights for the other legs of my journey.

So far...

4 Oct Depart Sydney
5 Oct Arrive London
13 Oct Fly to Cairo
17 Oct Return to London
31 Oct Fly to Paris
4 Nov Return to London
8 Nov Depart London
10 Nov Arrive Sydney

There may be one more side trip to take between the 17th and 31st Oct but I've yet to work that out.

There's so much I am looking forward to - seeing my brother Mark and his B/F Simon again (I'm staying with them whilst in London so I expect to be seeing quite a lot of them), seeing one of my oldest friends (Marie) again, seeing Matt again, meeting Darth Gateau, Guy In London, CuteCTGuy and possibly one or two other London bloggers, seeing more of London, Paris and Cairo and surrounds, and the highlight of course will be spending time in Cairo and Paris with my lovely friend EIB. It will be almost exactly 12 months since we last saw each other and I'm really hanging out to see him again and have some major chats with him! And giving (and receiving) the last 12 months' worth of hugs that we owe each other. Both he and I (esp me) have been through some fairly significant stuff over the past year and our regular Sunday chats have been a great source of advice and reassurance (and lots of laughs) which has really cemented our friendship! Can't wait!!!

Quick update...

OK OK, I'm being harassed left right and centre about my, errrm, abstinent lifestyle with Bruce. It's now been 4 weeks since my last shag and I've decided that I'm going to have to get me a shag. It's not going to happen with Bruce; I just get the feeling he's not ready for it, and perhaps will never be, with me anyway. I think he's a smashing guy, but I think I shall have to wind back a bit on how much I see him. The thing is, when I am with him, I'm having fun, and don't mind just sleeping with him. But, yes, Monty is still human after all and has needs! So, if Bruce isn't going to put out, then I shall have to find me another man! Which means either hanging out in bars (soooo not appealing at the moment) or back to Gaydar dating. Alas, my useless PC at home has now officially carked it and so I can't log onto GD! Oh, the quandary!!! I have to take it to a man to fix this weekend, but until then, it's going to be a loooooong week! Thankfully, I'm seeing Bruce on Wednesday night which will be enough to keep me distracted, but will also increase the level of my ummm, need! Hmmmm, I think I should have had me a back-up plan!

APEC and other miscellaneous mutterings...

It's APEC week here in the Emerald City and nothing really seemed that different on Monday and Tuesday to be honest. However, today I walked out at lunch time and the city seemed so empty! Maybe everyone is busy protesting, maybe they're all just avoiding the city now that George W Bush (and his entourage) is in town. But it was very strange walking down the footpaths and in the stores without battling the usual lunchtime crowds.



This is dangerous for Monty, as I did go into Myer at lunchtime - I needed to purchase a relatively inexpensive photo frame and so thought one from Myer would do. I waltzed into Myer, up the mostly empty escalator, turned and my eyes fell upon a sign advertising a 20% discount on shoes! Well, a couple of hundred dollars later, I had purchased myself a pair of lovely black boots and I continued up the escalator. I did get my photo frame (also 25% off) but then, I wandered into the DVD/CD section (Myer is a department store for all of our non-Aussie readers). And so I ended up buying myself a CD as well. So, the plan had been a $12 photo frame and instead, $250 poorer, I walked out of the store! Don't you just love those expeditions!



Bruce update (yes, I know that's what you're really wanting to hear about) - we had a lovely night out last night - just had a bottle of wine with dinner at the White Horse Inn then toddled over to this smashing little Italian place for dessert (magnificent Panna Cotta) with a lovely Yalumba Botrytis Viognier. We then stumbled back to his place and went to bed. I think we've achieved quite a good equilibrium in our relationship now - we had a great night out, there's no awkwardness between us; in bed, we fit well together. It's funny, I normally sleep on the right hand side of the bed. So does Bruce. And so, whenever we've slept together (which is getting to be quite a lot of times), I've slept on the left hand side. Last night, he got in on the left hand side - and so I was quite excited about sleeping on the right hand side. But get this - I couldn't sleep! I was snuggled up to him (naturally) but just could not get comfortable. Half way through the night, he got up to go to the loo, and so I slid over to the other side and when he got back into bed, I snuggled back up to him and it just felt right this time. And of course, I went straight to sleep! I've realized that I can't sleep with him unless I'm on the left hand side of the bed! I can't believe this has happened, but it's amazing how it does! I've got to say, I've not enjoyed sleeping with someone more - and that is despite the fact that there's no shagging happening. In fact, I'm beginning to think it's because there's no shagging, that it's so good. It certainly gives our relationship a different dynamic - which is very much working for both of us.

PS...

I just thought I'd add a small'ish comment after receiving feedback last night and today about my post of yesterday. Firstly, I hope I didn't come across as being negative or distraught, as I'm not. Yes, I'd like to see more develop but I'm not desperate to have a boyfriend NOW! I am really really liking what Bruce and I currently have, and so Tom, I agree, no need to rush - I'm content to let things just happen or not happen as the case may be. Worst case, I've found myself a friend, best case...who knows! A snuggle buddy is a great thing to have and he's sensational at snuggling! Over the next four weeks, I look forward to getting to know him better and better and then, when I return, hopefully, we can resume where we left off and go from there!

Thanks everyone for your care and concern! But no need to worry! Monty is in a good space at the moment! :-)

And this is the picture that my employer has used for my internal Directory listing. Not sure whether I like it or not...

As Good As It Gets...?

This is a bit of a miscellaneous blog really, as there's a couple of things on my mind.


Firstly, I'm cheesed off with my home PC, as it's got narky and decided not to work! Extremely frustrating as I cannot now access my Hotmail account which is my main personal email address nor can I access Gaydar. This (GD) has not been as vital, as my time is otherwise occupied but still, I'm a popular boy - I like to keep my fingers in the dating pie so to speak.


Speaking of which, I had a lovely and most unexpectedly involved weekend with Bruce. Originally, we had intended on meeting up on Friday night - he had a work Do on, and I was attending a charity Trivia night with Evan and McDreamy and we were going to meet later on. As it turned out, his work Do was boring as, and so he came early and joined our Trivia table. And of course, won the major raffle prize (3 nights accommodation at some hotel on Bondi Beach) and a random prize (a champagne bucket). I got to keep the champers bucket! But I digress. Original plan was for me to spend Friday night at his place and that was it for the weekend - we weren't going to see one another after that. Saturday morning came and went with me still in his bed, eventually being dragged out at 12.15 for a shopping expedition in the city. Let me tell you, this man can shop!!! I'm a fan! And he loves my favourite store, David Jones'! What a man! He was originally going to drop me home after that however instead, invited me to go out with him to another charity thing that he was attending...believe it or not, another Trivia night! Not being one to pass up a Trivia night (and more particuarly, to spend more time with him), I agreed! Another fun night was had and again, I fully expected him to drop me home afterwards. But, he suggested I stay the night with him and I wasn't going to say no to an offer like that. Sunday morning was another highly pleasant sleep-in, followed by a stroll around Surry Hills and another bout of retail therapy! I ended up buying myself this funky hat which I am quite excited about now! He eventually dropped me back at my house, wearing mostly his clothes (as I hadn't been prepared for an all weekend stay) at around 2pm yesterday. It was such a lovely day that I then toddled on down to my local park and read the paper in the warm Spring sun. A perfect end to the weekend!


BUT, and there's a "but", whilst it was a very very good weekend, we did have a big chat on Saturday morning whilst lying in bed. He sincerely feels that he cannot give me any more than he is currently giving, which, for all intents and purposes, is a friendship with snuggling benefits. He doesn't think that he's able to embark on a romantic relationship with anyone at the moment and as much as he really likes me, does want to be upfront with me in this respect. Naturally, I'd like more with him as I am really attracted to him, and he knows that. But, after the debacle that was the Gent in Question in May/June, I have been quite cautious in opening up my emotions to early in the piece (and having them somewhat exploited). And so, I haven't been as affected as on previous occasions. He did fully expect that I wouldn't want to see him again, however I do actually like him - I think he's a great guy! I really get on with him, enjoy his company, his sense of humour, and his very hot body! he he he! I was only thinking this yesterday - with all the other guys that I've spent a weekend with, by the end of the weekend, I'm really feeling the need for some space, some Monty time. With Bruce, there wasn't that feeling at all...I would have happily stayed with him on Sunday, happily slept over Sunday night - I just am really relaxed around him! So, I am very open to continuing our friendship "as is". I think that what we have is as good as it's going to get and to be honest, I can't be unhappy with that. I would love it to be more, but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He's concerned that my friends will think that he's taking advantage of me, in not allowing me to find a "real" boyfriend. But, I'm not particularly concerned about that...I have only 4 weeks to go before I go overseas and so I don't want to embark on a new relationship at this late stage. I'd much prefer to keep things as they are with him, our Friends with (snuggling) Benefits relationship and once I return from O/S, then start thinking about dating again. He's worried that our relationship is somewhat unorthodox, but you know, I've lived a very orthodox life up until a year ago, and so I don't really mind if it's a bit out there! Who cares! I've found a lovely guy, whose company I enjoy, who's fabulous to sleep with, who doesn't seem to mind hanging around me and who is, for want of a better description, a Clayton's boyfriend...the boyfriend you have when you don't have a boyfriend. Perfect for me at the moment, with my lack of motivation to date and limited timeframe. And the fact that we're not shagging isn't even particuarly worrying me either! Who'd have thought!!! It's been 3 weeks without it and I'm coping remarkably well!


So that's about it for the moment. I have had an awesome weekend, this week is a short one and this weekend is a long one! We're (McDreamy, Evan and myself and quite possibly Bruce) going down the coast to the beach house, and if the weather's like it was this past weekend, it will be FABULOUS!!!