My First Post...Why Am I Doing This?

Well, I suppose it was inevitable that I start up my own blog...can't keep harassing Dating Guy with my interminable rantings - despite his protestations, I am sure that even he has limits to his patience and understanding.

If any of you have read his blog, you'll already know something about me...if not, check it out on Dating Guy's very readable blog. Yes, that's me, Monty shagging his way through Eastern Europe! Where do I start?

I'm not going to go way back for the time being...let's just start a bit more recently...late July 2006 when I finally decided it was time to start coming out as a gay man. I have known that I was gay for several years...I had always had an attraction to other guys but always supressed it and lived a very straight life. My older brother, Mark, on the other hand, knew he was gay and so from age 21, lived his life as a gay man. (Before you get too worried, my oldest brother, Steve, is straight, with 3 children, so my parents have their grandkids!) I obviously had a fair bit of contact with Mark, living in Sydney too (Steve and my parents live in Qld) and was bound to come into contact with many of his gay friends. One of his friends, back in 1999, took a fancy to me and to cut a long story short, initiated me! 1 July 1999 to be precise. It's funny, he warned me beforehand, that once I had cock, there was no going back...and how right he was! It still took me another almost exactly 7 years to finally come out and admit it though! We'll get to the process another time!

So, I decided to come out...where to start? I would think that most people would tend to tell their family and close friends first...not I. Started with my friends first, as they would be more directly impacted by this than my family, who are not living in Sydney with me (Mark moved to London last year). I had heard about Gaydar.com.au from one of my clients who was gay, and so decided to log a profile...I had no idea how else to meet other gay guys (apart from walking into an Oxford St pub/club and that was way too daunting at this early stage). Scrolling through the thousands of profiles absolutely floored me...where do you start? Picked a page at random and had a look through the profiles and a pair of gentle brown eyes caught my attention...and so I sent a message...a very clumsy, awkward message if my memory serves me correct! I had no idea what to say, I had never been on any sort of personals website before in my life! Well, knock me down with a feather when the guy responded..."who?" you might ask...yes, you got it...Dating Guy!

I still cannot believe that of all the guys on that site, DG was the one that I stumbled across! And I have not found a nicer guy than DG, nor more supportive and caring than he. As he mentions in his blog, we met a couple of times and have conversed fairly extensively since then, which I will be eternally grateful for.

I had decided to go overseas this year, to see my brother Mark and so I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to come out to him, in person, in London! This I did 29 September 2006. Mark was surprised, but not shocked. What did shock him was when I told him that it was Andy, his friend, who had initiated me! You see, Andy and Mark had a brief fling in the early nineties, a fact that Andy conveniently forgot to tell me at the time! So Mark was a little understandably angry, more at Andy than me. But he hasn't talked to Andy for years now, so I doubt it will have any real impact on the grand scheme of things. But Mark has been really supportive, has given me much older-brotherly advice which has been great. It has been good, Mark has been in three long term relationships, the last one being for 9 years which ended when he moved to London. So, between him, with his advice on relationship building, and DG's advice on, yes, the Dating scene, I have received a pretty rounded crash course in being gay!

The other part of my overseas holiday was to Eastern Europe, mainly because I haven't been here before and always wanted to see it. I decided to go solo on this leg of the trip, as a personal challenge! I have always relied on others when it comes to meeting new people, and I really wanted to see if I could do this myself. So, that, combined with my newly 'out' status, meant that I was now determined to meet some gay guys (and yes, hook up too) whilst travelling.

And so I found myself one Tuesday night two weeks ago, in the middle of Berlin's gay district (well, one of them), outside a gay bar. I had already walked around the block, and up and down the street and knew I had to take that next step. Quick text message to DG for support, and then I went in!

Freaking out, I walked around the bar, ordered a beer, and took it outside to the tables there, with the few brave smokers who could handle the bitterly cold weather. I could then sit there in relative quiet, drink my beer, watch what was happening inside without the immediate threat of having to speak with anyone, and shiver! One beer gone, and my toes about to fall off from frost bite, I thought, "fuck this, I'm going to really do it"....went inside, found a stool at the crowded bar, and ordered another beer! And then realized that everyone is, of course, speaking German! "How the hell do I start a conversation with a guy when I can't even speak the lingo???" Thankfully, Kylie came on, a reassuringly familiar sound in a very alien world! A cute guy sat down across the bar from me, appeared to be alone. I smiled at him, he smiled at me. "What do I do now?" A smile will get you so far, but for conversation to be had, a mutual language was required. Another beer! After 3 beers, and no dinner, I was finally past caring! Walked up behind him, and froze! Panic stations! And then, the three beers took over and I took the decicive step and sat down next to him! He smiled and shook my hand. "Sprechen Sie English?" I asked. "My name is Oscar" he said. He was French, but had excellent English! The rest, as they say, is history! We spent 3 days and nights together in Berlin, 3 unforgetable nights! We sadly parted ways, he back to Paris, and me onwards to Prague to continue my holiday.

We were only talking today and I realized that he has been my longest gay relationship...3 days!!! That's the next challenge for me, to have a relationship that lasts longer than 3 days...preferably with someone who lives in the same city, let alone same continent as me!