Sam...

It's funny, out of the blue last night, I was lying in bed waiting to go to sleep, when I thought of Sam. I blame the boys...Mark and Simon...being the OLD people that they have turned into, they went to bed and turned out all the lights at 10:30pm, while I was sitting on the balcony talking to EIB. Anyway, so I had to go to bed when I was really not feeling tired at all (it's all that sleeping in that I'm doing...so wonderful). So, I'm lying there, trying to sleep, very unsuccessfully. I started thinking about Sydney, what will be happening when I get back, who'll I'll see first, etc etc etc. It's Evan's birthday, his 40th (lots of those happening at the moment in my life) and so it's going to be a rather large celebration. And of course, Sam popped into my head (being a friend of Evan's). I haven't really thought that much about him since I've been on holidays, as I've been trying, as I was advised to do, to have lots of FUN! And of course, the strange thing is, apart from the first weekend I was here, I haven't had any FUN (as in shagging fun). It's been nearly 3 weeks since my last shag!!! Crazy or what! I'm here, in London, where there are sooooo many HOT guys, and I've been going to bed like a good little virgin every flipping night!!! Anyway, back to the story...Sam popped up in my head. I really like him. He's a very sweet, funny, intelligent, good looking, reasonably sane, seemingly issue free guy! PERFECT! And you know, I really am looking forward to seeing him again! He's got a great smile, a wonderful voice and a magnificent furrrry chest! So shallow of me I know! But, despite my (to quote EIB) whoring around whilst here in London, when I get back, I'd really like to start seeing him. Of course, he may have moved on...you never know. But if he hasn't, and he's willing, then that's what I'd like to do.

So that's my thought for the day. It's kinda strange, I know, to be thinking about starting a relationship with someone, when this weekend - which is my last weekend in London - I'm planning on going out with a BANG!!! or two...or three even!!! I've got last Sunday's date turning up tomorrow night for dinner and a sleepover, and then Saturday night, I'm hoping to meet up with a couple of recently married (or CP'd) bloggers for a night out in Soho (and I'm going to do a club if it kills me)...and hopefully pick up...and then Sunday, meet up for drinks with another of my blogging correspondents and then spend the night at Matt's. So, I am going to be thoroughly making up for the past few weeks abstinence. But it still concerns me...am I really such a slut? I was reading in Attitude magazine (a British gay rag) about this guy who's 31 and claims to have had sex with 3000 guys! So my few guys doesn't seem so dramatic in comparison...but for me, given my past, it still seems like I've been round the block just a few times too many! And particularly now, when I'm desirous of commencing dating Sam when I get back, I'm still wanting a big shagging weekend! I know in my heart that when I'm with a guy, I can be (and have been) monogamous. It's been bred into me and it's what I really want. But I'm loving the freedom of being able to shag whoever I want at the moment! It's a strange dichotomy which I need to come to terms with. Am I alone in being like this?