Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Friends...

Many gay guys seem to bag Gaydar but tonight really reinforced to me how great Gaydar has been to me. I received a postcard from my friend Englishman In Budapest tonight when I got home. Not a big deal, but I was pretty excited. He's an English Lit teacher working for an English college in Budapest and so at the moment, is on holidays. He's been in the UK for the past 4 weeks catching up with his family and friends and so, as a consequence, our weekly Sunday night chats have not been happening. And to be honest, Sunday nights have just dragged for me since I haven't been chatting to him. It is always a highlight of my week to talk to him - we always have a laugh, he's always full of good advice, and it's just a great couple of hours spent in the company of a good friend. I met him through Gaydar last year before I went overseas. I messaged him because I thought it'd be great to meet up with someone who lives there and has a bit of local knowledge. He's now a really great friend and so upon receiving his postcard tonight, I rang him. It was so good to chat to him after having not done so for the last month - a most unexpected but fantastic bonus to my otherwise pretty dull Tuesday!

Matt, my friend from London who stayed with me last month. Met him through Gaydar...same kind of deal as EIB - I knew I was going to be in London and so I had a look at the London boys and his profile jumped out at me because he lived just around the corner from my brother Mark (and his pics were pretty damn cute). And now, he's a good friend with whom I keep in regular contact.

My great mate Evan I also first contacted via Gaydar...we met up for the first time at Mardi Gras at 3:30am outside the Gaydar tent! We now email each other pretty much on a daily basis, generally talk at least once or twice a week, and try to meet up for dinner and a chat once a week too.

There are heaps more guys that I have met through Gaydar who I would now consider friends. Yes, I haven't met Mr Right through Gaydar, but hey, I've made lots of friends. It's not the be all and end all in terms of meeting guys, but it's certainly one way to do it. You do need to keep it in perspective and be realistic in your expectations - I've certainly learned that over the past year - but if you do, it can be a great tool.

7 comments:

Campbell said...

The common denominator in all this is YOU Monty. Using Gaydar has worked well for you and that is largely because you are someone who is open to what life has to offer you and you are generous in what you offer life and those you come in contact with.
I guess that's what the concept of Karma's about.
And Mr. Right is out there, so continue to be open and you'll fall over him (or maybe even into him!).
xx

Single Guy said...

You should so write a testimonial for them...a different type of marketing campaign..no more naked men....

I think you have a lot of boys after you..you are not ready for Mr Right just yet!

Tales of the City said...

Here is the interesting question - do you (open to all this question) think that one can find something meaningful on Gaydar.. the concept is surely based on sex or looking for it... thus one is meeting a potential partner purely on a sexual basis... and that little fact will always remain in the corner of the room. Like the proverbial Elephant.

Guy In London said...

I know I'm still playing on nursery slopes here, but I just don't think I'll ever use Gaydar (OK, I may live to renege on that statement). I just can't contemplate a meaningful relationship being predicated on a quick shag. I'm no prude (obviously) but I just never was promiscuous when I was hetero, and don't feel the urge to be so now.

GIL

IAN said...

If it wasnt for on line networking sites i wouldnt have any friends here

Monty said...

CCTG and GIL, I think gaydar is what you want it to be...it can be a place where you pick up for a quick shag and that's it, OR it can be a place where you can meet other guys who are interested in more than just a quick shag. (Obviously, at times I have met guys and we've shagged as my blog has revealed) As i mentioned however, I've established meaningful relationships (friendships) with guys I have met via GD and they weren't predicated on sex. it's all in your profile really - by what you say, you'll attract a certain type of person. So, the concept is what you make it. Each to their own obviously, you're welcome to use it or not, but I'm just stating my experiences with it. When I came out, I had no gay friends. I'm not the sort that trawls gay bars meeting guys either. So, how do you meet other gay guys? GD was the answer for me.

Englishman in London said...

Hi,

Thanks for the lovely comments . . . and I fully agree with your view of Gaydar. You get from it what you want.

Hug

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