McBrad...

It's rather late, but I've been sitting up re-reading all of my past posts about McBrad...all 81 of them. Just as an aside, I've written about 105 posts since meeting McBrad and 81 involve him...I seriously don't know how you, my lovely readers, have put up with it.

Anyway, I just can't believe all the stuff that's happened in the past 12 months! All the stuff we've done, all the anniversaries, the holidays...just reading my reactions to the "first time" things - holding hands, saying the "L" word etc. It's been quite a year, a wonderful year. And things continue smashingly well. We spent Friday and Sat down at the beach house and it was a lovely, relaxing break. We've had a wonderful month celebrating many things, and this week, it's my birthday. But you know what hit me as I sat reading all the past posts? I remembered my doubt, my insecurity in those first few months. The constant questions that I had about whether this would last (questions to myself anyway), my worry about if he would fall out of love with me. But you know, I don't think about that stuff anymore. I feel the most secure in our relationship and it's a wonderful thing. But sometimes, you need to revisit how it was in those first few months to realize how good things are now!

I can't begin to explain the changes in my life over the past year but 99% of them have been great changes. It's amazing how everything really just flows when you're happy within yourself, when you're secure with who you are and where you are in life. It took a lot of heart ache and pain and stress and worry and doubt to get to where I am now, but by golly it was all worth it. And I think that's what I really want to say...sometimes, things don't look good. Sometimes, it does feel like all the stuff you're going through isn't worth while. But it is! I've been there, and it's all paid off. I love my life!