Well, here I am, in Mykonos, the island of gay men (apparently) and I've seen more elderly American tourists and girls than I have gay men!!!
Well, what's this blog about? To be honest, I'm not sure...there's a thousand things going through my mind at the moment...
Unrequited love/lust. Is there such a thing as unrequited love? Or is it just lust, the desire for what we can't have? I met Carl online via Gaydar, and met him in person in Budapest where he lives. He's English, a teacher at a private English school in Bp. A total hottie, but for me, off limits. He told me his one big love of his life ended about 10 yrs ago and since then, he's pulled back from relationships! He's a very witty guy, very English, and a total gentleman...Doh! We got on very well, and I would love to get into a relationship with him, as he seems pretty much like Mr Right to me. Naturally, there's a couple of obstacles...1. He's already had the love of his life and has shut down from relationships. and 2. we live in different hemispheres and timezones! Unfortuantely, our relationshp at the moment is very platonic! Doh again!
Since leaving Bp, I have kept an ongoing sms conversation with him, and the more we speak, the more I like the guy!
But then, here I am in Mykonos, hoping to meet up with some sort of hot guy, for a shag or two, or three. So are my feelings for Carl real, or just unrequited lust? Sigh!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Questions...
Ok, here I am in Athens at the moment...about to hit Mykonos with a vengence (hopefully). And I have a question or two...I have been talking to a guy in Sydney for about a month or so, via email and sms...we haven't yet met. He seems sensational, we seem to have similar likes/dislikes, seem very compatible...and we will meet once I return to Sydney. Now I am getting quite a few guys sending me messages etc via Gaydar who would like to meet me...and I am not averse to meeting them...The question (yes, I am getting to it) is...these other guys seem great too, and I would love to meet them (and possible shag them) however if the first guy works out...am I "settling down" too quickly? Given my relative inexperience, should I shag for a few months, or if I meet someone who appears to be Mr Right tomorrow, just stick with him and hang the getting of experience?
So, what should I be looking for, given my relative inexperience? Relationship? or Sex?
hmmmm....
So, what should I be looking for, given my relative inexperience? Relationship? or Sex?
hmmmm....
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Bohemian Rhapsody...
Well, it's been a while...but that's the challenge of travel...getting online long enough to submit a blog.
My continual development as a gay man continued in Prague...first impressions, horrible city. That lasted for a night...the first night. The second night, armed with my new found confidence from my Berlin experience, I rocked up to a bar/cafe that had been recommended by a friend. Dead quiet, it was about 8.30 at night. In one corner, a nice looking guy was nursing a drink. In another booth, a girl and two guys talking. Cluster of 3 guys talking to the bartender at one end of the bar. Otherwise, empty! GREAT!
"I'm here, so I may as well buy a beer and make the best of it". Beer purchased, perched myself on a stool facing the nice guy in the corner. Brief eye contact, nothing significant (I've learned that eye contact seems to be important when picking up a strange guy in a bar). hmmmm. Beer no. 1 gone, purchased beer no. 2. Another guy walked in, bought a beer and sat down at the next table. OK looking, and looking at me...significantly. hmmmm. What do you do, go with what seems to be a sure thing? Or wait for something else? Being just a little fussy, I went with waiting! I keep attempting to make eye contact with the first guy in the corner, a bit more successfully, but not enough to be sure! "OK", I think, "I'll buy another beer (no. 3) and instead of sitting on my stool, I'll sit down near him and attempt a hello or something". Good plan! Buy beer no. 3 and...sit back down in my stool! doh! Couldn't bring myself to do it! So much for new found confidence! The guy has finished his drink, collects his jacket and gets up! "FUCK!" The only nice looking guy here and he's leaving! My heart sank! As he walks past me, he pauses, and says "Thought I'd ditch the shyness and say hello to you. I hope you speak English!" Wahoooo! I invited him to sit down and we started chatting...his name is Mike, from Oregon in the USA. Getting into a conversation with him, I'm thinking things are going swimmingly! Then, another guy comes to the table and says "I heard you guys speaking English, mind if I join you?"...'Bugger off' is my first thought, but of course, we acceed to his request. He's from Sydney, Owen, and wanting to know if we've been to any of the clubs yet...he's heard about some but not sure etc, and he's by himself so he's a bit nervous. Neither of us had, me only having arrived the day before and Mike only having flown in that day! More desultory conversation, mostly from Owen. By this time, my hand is on Mike's leg and he's not objecting...in fact, he's caressing my hand! Bingo! Now, to get rid of the annoying Owen!
Thankfully, he goes to the men's room, and Mike says "I would love to see Charles Bridge at night, wanna come?" 'You betcha baby!!!' I think to myself, and agree very calmly, nonchalently even! Owen comes back, and I think by this stage, he's getting the vibes from us that he was the third wheel...so he says he's going to check out the clubs and he's off! Wahooo!
Mike and I did actually stroll along Charles Bridge, lovely at night, but still full of tourists and street vendors. Nice stroll however. We walk back, in the direction of Mike's hotel, he invites me up. And it's on for young and old! Sexy man, incredibly well hung! And a tongue that goes everywhere! I stayed the night, needless to say, and we didn't sleep that much!
Woke up in the morning and he invited me to stay for the next couple of days with him in the hotel...he'd won this holiday for two and of course, there's only him on the holiday, but with accommodation for two. I had to check out of my hotel that day anyway, and so I moved in. Can't believe that I had met him the previous night and already agreeing to move in with him...that's the speed of gay relationships isn't it!!!
We spent three wonderful days in Prague, exploring the city together, trying out the food, going to classical concerts and having some incredible sex! The last night, we had a bath together where I fucked him for the first time. We dried off and went to bed where I fucked him for the second time! Neither of us wanted the night to end, as he was leaving for Switzerland the following day. So we stayed up talking all night (well, almost all the night, I did fuck him a third time which kinda halted the conversation temporarily), eventually falling asleep about 6am.
It was a wonderful time in Prague, spent with a lovely, funny and very chatty American...the nicest American I know! It was really hard to say goodbye, I was quite attached to him. He was loathe to go too! But we both had our holidays planned and booked and so onward we must go. Next stop for me was Budapest, via Bratislava.
What did I learn from this episode?
1. That there are nice Americans, who aren't necessarily loud and obnoxious!
2. That I can rim a guy
3. I'm not too bad at fucking guys
4. That I am finding that I am becoming emotionally involved with these guys very quickly and very deeply! This was alarming for me, who was kept his emotions under very strict control, particularly over the past 7 years or so since I've known definitely that I was gay. Suddenly, now that I've acknowledged my sexual preference, I'm letting my emotions flow freely and it's a bit scary!
5. That Dating Guy once again proves himself an invaluable support for this seemingly emotionally all-over-the-place blogger! DG is truly an amazing man, finding time and energy to deal with my issues whilst dealing with some of his own...and coming out on top! Legend!
My continual development as a gay man continued in Prague...first impressions, horrible city. That lasted for a night...the first night. The second night, armed with my new found confidence from my Berlin experience, I rocked up to a bar/cafe that had been recommended by a friend. Dead quiet, it was about 8.30 at night. In one corner, a nice looking guy was nursing a drink. In another booth, a girl and two guys talking. Cluster of 3 guys talking to the bartender at one end of the bar. Otherwise, empty! GREAT!
"I'm here, so I may as well buy a beer and make the best of it". Beer purchased, perched myself on a stool facing the nice guy in the corner. Brief eye contact, nothing significant (I've learned that eye contact seems to be important when picking up a strange guy in a bar). hmmmm. Beer no. 1 gone, purchased beer no. 2. Another guy walked in, bought a beer and sat down at the next table. OK looking, and looking at me...significantly. hmmmm. What do you do, go with what seems to be a sure thing? Or wait for something else? Being just a little fussy, I went with waiting! I keep attempting to make eye contact with the first guy in the corner, a bit more successfully, but not enough to be sure! "OK", I think, "I'll buy another beer (no. 3) and instead of sitting on my stool, I'll sit down near him and attempt a hello or something". Good plan! Buy beer no. 3 and...sit back down in my stool! doh! Couldn't bring myself to do it! So much for new found confidence! The guy has finished his drink, collects his jacket and gets up! "FUCK!" The only nice looking guy here and he's leaving! My heart sank! As he walks past me, he pauses, and says "Thought I'd ditch the shyness and say hello to you. I hope you speak English!" Wahoooo! I invited him to sit down and we started chatting...his name is Mike, from Oregon in the USA. Getting into a conversation with him, I'm thinking things are going swimmingly! Then, another guy comes to the table and says "I heard you guys speaking English, mind if I join you?"...'Bugger off' is my first thought, but of course, we acceed to his request. He's from Sydney, Owen, and wanting to know if we've been to any of the clubs yet...he's heard about some but not sure etc, and he's by himself so he's a bit nervous. Neither of us had, me only having arrived the day before and Mike only having flown in that day! More desultory conversation, mostly from Owen. By this time, my hand is on Mike's leg and he's not objecting...in fact, he's caressing my hand! Bingo! Now, to get rid of the annoying Owen!
Thankfully, he goes to the men's room, and Mike says "I would love to see Charles Bridge at night, wanna come?" 'You betcha baby!!!' I think to myself, and agree very calmly, nonchalently even! Owen comes back, and I think by this stage, he's getting the vibes from us that he was the third wheel...so he says he's going to check out the clubs and he's off! Wahooo!
Mike and I did actually stroll along Charles Bridge, lovely at night, but still full of tourists and street vendors. Nice stroll however. We walk back, in the direction of Mike's hotel, he invites me up. And it's on for young and old! Sexy man, incredibly well hung! And a tongue that goes everywhere! I stayed the night, needless to say, and we didn't sleep that much!
Woke up in the morning and he invited me to stay for the next couple of days with him in the hotel...he'd won this holiday for two and of course, there's only him on the holiday, but with accommodation for two. I had to check out of my hotel that day anyway, and so I moved in. Can't believe that I had met him the previous night and already agreeing to move in with him...that's the speed of gay relationships isn't it!!!
We spent three wonderful days in Prague, exploring the city together, trying out the food, going to classical concerts and having some incredible sex! The last night, we had a bath together where I fucked him for the first time. We dried off and went to bed where I fucked him for the second time! Neither of us wanted the night to end, as he was leaving for Switzerland the following day. So we stayed up talking all night (well, almost all the night, I did fuck him a third time which kinda halted the conversation temporarily), eventually falling asleep about 6am.
It was a wonderful time in Prague, spent with a lovely, funny and very chatty American...the nicest American I know! It was really hard to say goodbye, I was quite attached to him. He was loathe to go too! But we both had our holidays planned and booked and so onward we must go. Next stop for me was Budapest, via Bratislava.
What did I learn from this episode?
1. That there are nice Americans, who aren't necessarily loud and obnoxious!
2. That I can rim a guy
3. I'm not too bad at fucking guys
4. That I am finding that I am becoming emotionally involved with these guys very quickly and very deeply! This was alarming for me, who was kept his emotions under very strict control, particularly over the past 7 years or so since I've known definitely that I was gay. Suddenly, now that I've acknowledged my sexual preference, I'm letting my emotions flow freely and it's a bit scary!
5. That Dating Guy once again proves himself an invaluable support for this seemingly emotionally all-over-the-place blogger! DG is truly an amazing man, finding time and energy to deal with my issues whilst dealing with some of his own...and coming out on top! Legend!
Monday, October 23, 2006
My First Post...Why Am I Doing This?
Well, I suppose it was inevitable that I start up my own blog...can't keep harassing Dating Guy with my interminable rantings - despite his protestations, I am sure that even he has limits to his patience and understanding.
If any of you have read his blog, you'll already know something about me...if not, check it out on Dating Guy's very readable blog. Yes, that's me, Monty shagging his way through Eastern Europe! Where do I start?
I'm not going to go way back for the time being...let's just start a bit more recently...late July 2006 when I finally decided it was time to start coming out as a gay man. I have known that I was gay for several years...I had always had an attraction to other guys but always supressed it and lived a very straight life. My older brother, Mark, on the other hand, knew he was gay and so from age 21, lived his life as a gay man. (Before you get too worried, my oldest brother, Steve, is straight, with 3 children, so my parents have their grandkids!) I obviously had a fair bit of contact with Mark, living in Sydney too (Steve and my parents live in Qld) and was bound to come into contact with many of his gay friends. One of his friends, back in 1999, took a fancy to me and to cut a long story short, initiated me! 1 July 1999 to be precise. It's funny, he warned me beforehand, that once I had cock, there was no going back...and how right he was! It still took me another almost exactly 7 years to finally come out and admit it though! We'll get to the process another time!
So, I decided to come out...where to start? I would think that most people would tend to tell their family and close friends first...not I. Started with my friends first, as they would be more directly impacted by this than my family, who are not living in Sydney with me (Mark moved to London last year). I had heard about Gaydar.com.au from one of my clients who was gay, and so decided to log a profile...I had no idea how else to meet other gay guys (apart from walking into an Oxford St pub/club and that was way too daunting at this early stage). Scrolling through the thousands of profiles absolutely floored me...where do you start? Picked a page at random and had a look through the profiles and a pair of gentle brown eyes caught my attention...and so I sent a message...a very clumsy, awkward message if my memory serves me correct! I had no idea what to say, I had never been on any sort of personals website before in my life! Well, knock me down with a feather when the guy responded..."who?" you might ask...yes, you got it...Dating Guy!
I still cannot believe that of all the guys on that site, DG was the one that I stumbled across! And I have not found a nicer guy than DG, nor more supportive and caring than he. As he mentions in his blog, we met a couple of times and have conversed fairly extensively since then, which I will be eternally grateful for.
I had decided to go overseas this year, to see my brother Mark and so I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to come out to him, in person, in London! This I did 29 September 2006. Mark was surprised, but not shocked. What did shock him was when I told him that it was Andy, his friend, who had initiated me! You see, Andy and Mark had a brief fling in the early nineties, a fact that Andy conveniently forgot to tell me at the time! So Mark was a little understandably angry, more at Andy than me. But he hasn't talked to Andy for years now, so I doubt it will have any real impact on the grand scheme of things. But Mark has been really supportive, has given me much older-brotherly advice which has been great. It has been good, Mark has been in three long term relationships, the last one being for 9 years which ended when he moved to London. So, between him, with his advice on relationship building, and DG's advice on, yes, the Dating scene, I have received a pretty rounded crash course in being gay!
The other part of my overseas holiday was to Eastern Europe, mainly because I haven't been here before and always wanted to see it. I decided to go solo on this leg of the trip, as a personal challenge! I have always relied on others when it comes to meeting new people, and I really wanted to see if I could do this myself. So, that, combined with my newly 'out' status, meant that I was now determined to meet some gay guys (and yes, hook up too) whilst travelling.
And so I found myself one Tuesday night two weeks ago, in the middle of Berlin's gay district (well, one of them), outside a gay bar. I had already walked around the block, and up and down the street and knew I had to take that next step. Quick text message to DG for support, and then I went in!
Freaking out, I walked around the bar, ordered a beer, and took it outside to the tables there, with the few brave smokers who could handle the bitterly cold weather. I could then sit there in relative quiet, drink my beer, watch what was happening inside without the immediate threat of having to speak with anyone, and shiver! One beer gone, and my toes about to fall off from frost bite, I thought, "fuck this, I'm going to really do it"....went inside, found a stool at the crowded bar, and ordered another beer! And then realized that everyone is, of course, speaking German! "How the hell do I start a conversation with a guy when I can't even speak the lingo???" Thankfully, Kylie came on, a reassuringly familiar sound in a very alien world! A cute guy sat down across the bar from me, appeared to be alone. I smiled at him, he smiled at me. "What do I do now?" A smile will get you so far, but for conversation to be had, a mutual language was required. Another beer! After 3 beers, and no dinner, I was finally past caring! Walked up behind him, and froze! Panic stations! And then, the three beers took over and I took the decicive step and sat down next to him! He smiled and shook my hand. "Sprechen Sie English?" I asked. "My name is Oscar" he said. He was French, but had excellent English! The rest, as they say, is history! We spent 3 days and nights together in Berlin, 3 unforgetable nights! We sadly parted ways, he back to Paris, and me onwards to Prague to continue my holiday.
We were only talking today and I realized that he has been my longest gay relationship...3 days!!! That's the next challenge for me, to have a relationship that lasts longer than 3 days...preferably with someone who lives in the same city, let alone same continent as me!
If any of you have read his blog, you'll already know something about me...if not, check it out on Dating Guy's very readable blog. Yes, that's me, Monty shagging his way through Eastern Europe! Where do I start?
I'm not going to go way back for the time being...let's just start a bit more recently...late July 2006 when I finally decided it was time to start coming out as a gay man. I have known that I was gay for several years...I had always had an attraction to other guys but always supressed it and lived a very straight life. My older brother, Mark, on the other hand, knew he was gay and so from age 21, lived his life as a gay man. (Before you get too worried, my oldest brother, Steve, is straight, with 3 children, so my parents have their grandkids!) I obviously had a fair bit of contact with Mark, living in Sydney too (Steve and my parents live in Qld) and was bound to come into contact with many of his gay friends. One of his friends, back in 1999, took a fancy to me and to cut a long story short, initiated me! 1 July 1999 to be precise. It's funny, he warned me beforehand, that once I had cock, there was no going back...and how right he was! It still took me another almost exactly 7 years to finally come out and admit it though! We'll get to the process another time!
So, I decided to come out...where to start? I would think that most people would tend to tell their family and close friends first...not I. Started with my friends first, as they would be more directly impacted by this than my family, who are not living in Sydney with me (Mark moved to London last year). I had heard about Gaydar.com.au from one of my clients who was gay, and so decided to log a profile...I had no idea how else to meet other gay guys (apart from walking into an Oxford St pub/club and that was way too daunting at this early stage). Scrolling through the thousands of profiles absolutely floored me...where do you start? Picked a page at random and had a look through the profiles and a pair of gentle brown eyes caught my attention...and so I sent a message...a very clumsy, awkward message if my memory serves me correct! I had no idea what to say, I had never been on any sort of personals website before in my life! Well, knock me down with a feather when the guy responded..."who?" you might ask...yes, you got it...Dating Guy!
I still cannot believe that of all the guys on that site, DG was the one that I stumbled across! And I have not found a nicer guy than DG, nor more supportive and caring than he. As he mentions in his blog, we met a couple of times and have conversed fairly extensively since then, which I will be eternally grateful for.
I had decided to go overseas this year, to see my brother Mark and so I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to come out to him, in person, in London! This I did 29 September 2006. Mark was surprised, but not shocked. What did shock him was when I told him that it was Andy, his friend, who had initiated me! You see, Andy and Mark had a brief fling in the early nineties, a fact that Andy conveniently forgot to tell me at the time! So Mark was a little understandably angry, more at Andy than me. But he hasn't talked to Andy for years now, so I doubt it will have any real impact on the grand scheme of things. But Mark has been really supportive, has given me much older-brotherly advice which has been great. It has been good, Mark has been in three long term relationships, the last one being for 9 years which ended when he moved to London. So, between him, with his advice on relationship building, and DG's advice on, yes, the Dating scene, I have received a pretty rounded crash course in being gay!
The other part of my overseas holiday was to Eastern Europe, mainly because I haven't been here before and always wanted to see it. I decided to go solo on this leg of the trip, as a personal challenge! I have always relied on others when it comes to meeting new people, and I really wanted to see if I could do this myself. So, that, combined with my newly 'out' status, meant that I was now determined to meet some gay guys (and yes, hook up too) whilst travelling.
And so I found myself one Tuesday night two weeks ago, in the middle of Berlin's gay district (well, one of them), outside a gay bar. I had already walked around the block, and up and down the street and knew I had to take that next step. Quick text message to DG for support, and then I went in!
Freaking out, I walked around the bar, ordered a beer, and took it outside to the tables there, with the few brave smokers who could handle the bitterly cold weather. I could then sit there in relative quiet, drink my beer, watch what was happening inside without the immediate threat of having to speak with anyone, and shiver! One beer gone, and my toes about to fall off from frost bite, I thought, "fuck this, I'm going to really do it"....went inside, found a stool at the crowded bar, and ordered another beer! And then realized that everyone is, of course, speaking German! "How the hell do I start a conversation with a guy when I can't even speak the lingo???" Thankfully, Kylie came on, a reassuringly familiar sound in a very alien world! A cute guy sat down across the bar from me, appeared to be alone. I smiled at him, he smiled at me. "What do I do now?" A smile will get you so far, but for conversation to be had, a mutual language was required. Another beer! After 3 beers, and no dinner, I was finally past caring! Walked up behind him, and froze! Panic stations! And then, the three beers took over and I took the decicive step and sat down next to him! He smiled and shook my hand. "Sprechen Sie English?" I asked. "My name is Oscar" he said. He was French, but had excellent English! The rest, as they say, is history! We spent 3 days and nights together in Berlin, 3 unforgetable nights! We sadly parted ways, he back to Paris, and me onwards to Prague to continue my holiday.
We were only talking today and I realized that he has been my longest gay relationship...3 days!!! That's the next challenge for me, to have a relationship that lasts longer than 3 days...preferably with someone who lives in the same city, let alone same continent as me!
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