Dating...

I was thinking the other day about my personal situation...I've been telling friends recently that I think I'm moving on from my so-called "slutty phase" and that I'm feeling ready to get into something a bit more long term. All well and good. Nice plan Monty.

The problem is that it feels like once you're on the Gaydar round-about, how do you know when to jump off? I meet a nice guy, and think...'hmmm, I like him'...but then, I get a message from another guy who seem just as lovely, good looking, grounded etc and so I wonder, could he be better? GD appears to be full of good looking and seemingly perfect men (and of course, the odd psycho), and it's quite intoxicating sometimes! The endless round of drinks with guys after work, the odd encounter or two, is very stimulating and flattering to a degree (except when you meet the aforementioned psycho - see last week's post). But sooner or later, you need to consciously step off the merry-go-round...the challenge is when? At what point do you decide 'this is the guy that I'm going to focus on' and not keep planning more dates with more guys 'just in case'???

It seems like the old-fashioned way of dating seemed a bit more straight forward..you met someone at a party, or in a bar, or at friends' places etc etc and liked them, asked them out and went from there. There was less distraction I suppose than GD with its plethora of men all looking and messaging and tempting you! You could focus on the one guy and not have to worry (as much) about getting waylaid by other guys who may or may not be better than the guy you were with.

And the other wicked thing about GD is the many opportunities for encounters...which, while highly enjoyable, can be very distracting and simply muddy the waters when one is looking for something a bit more meaningful and long term.

Any suggestions would be welcome! And any offers would also be welcome! he he he!

Formatting...

Just a very quick apology - my formatting is appalling on this Blog, but I have no idea how to do it properly. All these IT specialists and graphic designers who blog have fabulous looking blogs, and mine is CRAP! But hey, we can't all be perfect! lol

Unconscious Mutterings...

San Francisco :: Streets of...
Sadness :: Enigma
Spirits :: Vodka
Harriet :: Harry
State :: ...of confusion
John :: Doe (I watch too much CSI)
Offense :: ...ive
TImeless :: Audrey Hepburn
Account :: Bank
Refuse :: ...d entry (this is curtesy of an image of Muzbot in Waratahs jumper at the Columbian)

The Bridge Walk...

What a great day! And a great event! It was fantastic just to be part of such a milestone, and to be part of a great sea of fluro green hats!

Just a couple of pix from the walk!

And the view from the Hero where we ended up for a couple of beers afterward!

It's Her 75th Anniversary...

I'm rather excited at the moment...tomorrow, well actually today now that it's 1.30am Sunday, I'm going to do the Sydney Harbour Bridge walk with approximately 200,000 other Sydneysiders to celebrate the Bridge's 75th anniversary. It's a big thing here in Sydney; they're actually closing the Bridge off from 4am until midnight which is the longest time the bridge has ever been closed!

I was reading an interview with the guy in charge of the Bridge maintenance team in the paper today and it was fascinating, seeing his very personal and up-close perspective on the bridge. And he said that the bridge is more than an "it", an impersonal piece of infrastructure. He called the bridge a "her", with moods, personality and language. And I thought that sounded pretty cool. I think everyone in Sydney feels an affilliation with the Bridge simply because of it's (or rather her) importance to the city. Not only does she carry thousands of people across the harbour on a daily basis, both via car and train, but also is a fundamental tourist attraction. It's an iconic part of Sydney!

So I'm feeling rather chuffed that I get to walk across the bridge later today to celebrate with my fellow Sydneysiders, and afterward, end up at the Lordy or the Hero in the Rocks for a beer or two.

Happy Anniversary SHB!

Desperation...

It's interesting, I had this great chat with my mate Englishman in Budapest on Sunday night, as we generally do, and I was feeling a little down. I consider him one of my closest friends now - he gets all of the details of my life (both sordid and sacred) downloaded to him on a weekly basis - he's very level headed and gives me his perspective on things. He's helped me many times and he's also great for a laugh!

Anyway, the conversation progressed to a discussion about how desperation can be quite a turn-off. And this week, I experienced it first hand. Met up with this guy on Tuesday night after work for a drink in a pub in the city. He'd told me he was divorced from his wife and was the proud father of 3. OK, so there's bound to be a little baggage. But he seemed nice enough and so agreed to meet him.

We had a good time, had a couple of beers and a pleasant conversation. He kept telling me how good looking I was and how hot I was etc etc and I thought it was best I tried to keep him a bit grounded by telling him that I was seeing a couple of other guys later in the week (which I was). Just so that he knew he wasn't the only guy on my radar and to be honest and upfront with him as well. Whether this is a good idea or not, I don't know. But I'd prefer that to pretending he's the only one in my life! Hey, we met on Gaydar for crying out loud, it's practically expected.

Anyway, he was a bit put off by this. But I was glad, because I thought he was getting way too much into me, I'm sure he was planning for me to move in with him...just the way he was talking! So, we parted ways and I told him that I'd definitely talk to him again, see him etc. He is a really nice guy, don't get me wrong...he just was very enthusiastic about me.

Two text messages on the bus home. And then another one when I got home...the third one saying words to the effect that he didn't like the other guys I was seeing and hoped that I would pick him. I didn't reply.

Got a message later that night on Gaydar. Same sentiments. "Don't keep me waiting because I'm seeing other guys too and you might miss out" kind of stuff.

Got a text at 7am the next morning. I didn't reply. Got a text about 8:30am..."why haven't you replied to me?" I replied...it was a busy morning and the day was going to be insane! Another message at 1pm that day - "thinking of you, is that wrong?". And since then, at least a couple of texts each day! What is this???

On Tuesday night, I quite liked him, thought he was interesting, kinda cute and reasonably sane. With each text message, he just sounds more and more psychotic! He just seems so desperate to get into a relationship with me! or perhaps not me specifically, but anyone - I'm just the guy that showed up at the pub!

And I've now seen exactly what EIB was talking about on Sunday night! Desperation is VERY off-putting! And it's made me determined NOT to be like that in the future (not that I have ever been quite so intense)...I'm going to be calm, collected and chilled...even if I think I have met Mr Right! And I'm going to stop thinking I've met Mr Right until he becomes Mr Right - and that will take quite a few dates before that happens!

EIB comes to Monty's rescue once again!

Unconsious mutterings....

Contribution :: to the Team
Ryan :: Phillipe
Minimal :: Pet Shop Boys
Cleansed :: and Toned
Centered :: Self-
Arrow :: Fairlie (does anyone remember her?)
Beyond :: redemption
Execute :: documents
Intuition :: something I lack
Apology :: sorry