I think that I would like to leave one last thing...one of my favourite songs, of course, it's Pet Shop Boys - they continue to write the soundtrack to my life. This song sums up perfectly the last 3 years of my life since coming out. It's soooo been worth it!
Was it worth it?
Well I don't know why
I was dreaming about you
but I do know that
I was dancing without you
Then you smiled
and I was lost
You fall in love
Why count the cost?
All I gave to you
All you made me do
I react when I hear people ask
Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth living for
Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth giving more
If I'd had my way
this would have happened much sooner
but until that day
it was only a rumour
All at once
you changed my life
and led me into paradise
where I had to do
what I wanted to
I react when I hear people ask
Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth living for
Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth giving more
I reserve the right to live
my life this way and I don't give
a damn when I hear people say
I'll pay the price that others pay
'cause it's worth it
Yes it's worth living for
'cause it's worth it
Yes it's worth living for
All I gave to you
All you made me do
I reactwhen I hear people ask
Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth living for
Was it worth it?
Yes it's worth giving more
And I reserve (What?)
the right to live (Where?)
my life this way (How?)
I couldn't give a damn when I (What?)
hear people say (Who?)
I'll pay the price that others pay
'cause it's worth it
Yes it's worth living for
'cause it's worth it
Yes it's worth giving more
AND IT'S WORTH IT!
x
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The end...
Well, my dear readers (all one or two of you left), I'm going to sign off here for the year. And possibly more permantly as well. As you've no doubt noted, I'm not exactly a regular blogger by anyone's standards and so it doesn't feel right to keep this blog ticking along, barely gasping for life with my irregular posts.
The thing is, I just don't feel the need to blog anymore. I don't feel like I've got anything interesting to add to the blog. It started off as a bit of an experiment, on the suggestion of one of my friends who maintained a blog of his own. He thought it would be a good thing for me to do - documenting my coming out experience. And it was. And then it converted into the story of Monty's Hunt for Mr Right, which was a long and winding road, to say the least. Along the way, I met some lovely guys, some very HOT guys, some boring guys and one or two guys who I prefer not to think about. And then, out of the blue, McBrad! My gorgeous man. And so the blog changed again, following the changes in my life as "Monty and McBrad", dealing with being in a relationship. But now, over 3 years down the track, and 21 months into our relationship, with things going along swimmingly well, I feel like I've just come to the end of my blogging career. There just doesn't seem like anything worth saying that's relevant and interesting.
I've been blessed with a loyal little readership who've encouraged me along the way, given me hints and suggestions when I was at a loss, cheered me through my slutty summers, and given me virtual hugs when I've been feeling bruised and lost. Thank you most sincerely. You will probably never know how much it meant to me to have your support! In particular, I'd like to say thanks to all the bloggers who I've been lucky enough to meet in person, both here in Sydney and in London!
But now, it's onwards and upwards with McBrad. We're about to celebrate our second Christmas together, then head down to the beach house for a few days, and then back to Sydney in time for New Year's! I love Sydney in summer and it's a great time to be with the man you love.
I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas and a fabulous New Year! Never fear, I shall still be in the background, reading your blogs and making the odd comment, but I don't think I'll be back here in MAAM...but I shan't say never. Thanks again.
Monty! xxx
The thing is, I just don't feel the need to blog anymore. I don't feel like I've got anything interesting to add to the blog. It started off as a bit of an experiment, on the suggestion of one of my friends who maintained a blog of his own. He thought it would be a good thing for me to do - documenting my coming out experience. And it was. And then it converted into the story of Monty's Hunt for Mr Right, which was a long and winding road, to say the least. Along the way, I met some lovely guys, some very HOT guys, some boring guys and one or two guys who I prefer not to think about. And then, out of the blue, McBrad! My gorgeous man. And so the blog changed again, following the changes in my life as "Monty and McBrad", dealing with being in a relationship. But now, over 3 years down the track, and 21 months into our relationship, with things going along swimmingly well, I feel like I've just come to the end of my blogging career. There just doesn't seem like anything worth saying that's relevant and interesting.
I've been blessed with a loyal little readership who've encouraged me along the way, given me hints and suggestions when I was at a loss, cheered me through my slutty summers, and given me virtual hugs when I've been feeling bruised and lost. Thank you most sincerely. You will probably never know how much it meant to me to have your support! In particular, I'd like to say thanks to all the bloggers who I've been lucky enough to meet in person, both here in Sydney and in London!
But now, it's onwards and upwards with McBrad. We're about to celebrate our second Christmas together, then head down to the beach house for a few days, and then back to Sydney in time for New Year's! I love Sydney in summer and it's a great time to be with the man you love.
I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas and a fabulous New Year! Never fear, I shall still be in the background, reading your blogs and making the odd comment, but I don't think I'll be back here in MAAM...but I shan't say never. Thanks again.
Monty! xxx
Friday, November 13, 2009
Moved...
Sorry it's been a few weeks since my last post but it's been rather busy! The worst aspect is that my Unwired broadband service is failing to pick up a signal and so I have no internet at home!
But the move went well which I was very relieved about. My gorgeous guy McBrad of course helped me immensely - on the Friday before the move, he helped me paint my apartment which was a big thing for him...thus far in his life, he's managed to avoid having to paint by simply employing other people to do it for him. So I regard it as a mark of his love for me that he cast aside his aversion to manual labour and did a marvellous job of it!!! My friends Mack, Andy, Jacqui and Dan, as well as McBrad's friend Ted all helped on the day and although it took much much longer than we expected, we did accomplish it all. It has taken me a few big days/nights since then getting the apartment all sorted out, but it's mostly done now! I've still got all my books in boxes, however tomorrow I'm going to buy a couple of bookcases and that will the last thing! I will post some pictures soon, but that will have to wait until I've got myself a new internet account with a fixed line operator. So it's all very exciting. I do love just coming home after work to MY apartment...how good is that! And I'm getting up earlier each morning and actually having breakfast for the first time in several years! And my personal trainer Daz weighed me last night (after a two week absense from gym) and I've LOST 1.5 kgs (or 3.3 pounds) since we got back from holidays so I was very excited by that!
But the best thing has been my new bed. With the move being a little bit more extended than I had originally planned, I ended up staying at McBrad's for a few days. But with my new fridge and bed delivered, and me finally in the apartment, we got to break in my gorgeous new sheets, on my very comfortable new mattress on my very stylish new bed in my lovely new aparment. Nothing like a good ol' shag on new stuff! :-)
So now, it's a matter of getting used to living there, paying off a mortgage, catching a different bus to work, and adapting to my new local supermarket. And being only 8 minutes drive from McBrad's!!! It's all good!!!
But the move went well which I was very relieved about. My gorgeous guy McBrad of course helped me immensely - on the Friday before the move, he helped me paint my apartment which was a big thing for him...thus far in his life, he's managed to avoid having to paint by simply employing other people to do it for him. So I regard it as a mark of his love for me that he cast aside his aversion to manual labour and did a marvellous job of it!!! My friends Mack, Andy, Jacqui and Dan, as well as McBrad's friend Ted all helped on the day and although it took much much longer than we expected, we did accomplish it all. It has taken me a few big days/nights since then getting the apartment all sorted out, but it's mostly done now! I've still got all my books in boxes, however tomorrow I'm going to buy a couple of bookcases and that will the last thing! I will post some pictures soon, but that will have to wait until I've got myself a new internet account with a fixed line operator. So it's all very exciting. I do love just coming home after work to MY apartment...how good is that! And I'm getting up earlier each morning and actually having breakfast for the first time in several years! And my personal trainer Daz weighed me last night (after a two week absense from gym) and I've LOST 1.5 kgs (or 3.3 pounds) since we got back from holidays so I was very excited by that!
But the best thing has been my new bed. With the move being a little bit more extended than I had originally planned, I ended up staying at McBrad's for a few days. But with my new fridge and bed delivered, and me finally in the apartment, we got to break in my gorgeous new sheets, on my very comfortable new mattress on my very stylish new bed in my lovely new aparment. Nothing like a good ol' shag on new stuff! :-)
So now, it's a matter of getting used to living there, paying off a mortgage, catching a different bus to work, and adapting to my new local supermarket. And being only 8 minutes drive from McBrad's!!! It's all good!!!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Moving...
Well, it's on for young and old at the moment. I settle on my apartment next Tuesday and move in on the following weekend, so I'm currently up to my ears in boxes, packing all my worldly goods in anticipation. It's very exciting as well as very stressful, but at the moment, the excitement is winning. I'm taking the opportunity to update my interiors as well, so I'm giving about half of my furniture away to a charity and buying new stuff. Last weekend, I bought me a lovely new bed and mattress and this week, I popped into David Jones and got a new set of sheets...lovely 525 thread count cotton "Sanderson" sheets. Apparently, they're so marvellous the Queen uses them (well, she officially endorses them anyway)! They do feel so wonderfully smooth - almost satin-like. Bliss. I can't wait to try out my new sheets, on my new mattress, on my new bed, in my new apartment with my very hot boyfriend!!! Wahooo!
This weekend is going to be mostly about packing...and a quiet BBQ with some friends at McBrad's, followed by a bit of a dance at Palms!
It's funny, as I've been going through my stuff at home, sorting out what to keep and what to flick, I've had to reflect on my "old" life. There's so much stuff that I've not used/worn since I came out for one reason or another and so a lot of it has gone into the "flick" pile, but everything has a memory attached, mostly good. It's not that I want to forget that life - I don't! I really liked my life up until I came out, with that one small exception of my struggle about my sexuality. Otherwise, it was all good. But it's a matter of moving on now. This is my opportunity to leave those last few vestiges of that life behind and start looking forward.
As always, my gorgeous McBrad has been a pillar of support and kindness and I can never get over how lucky I am. After all those ups and downs of dating, to have found someone as wonderful as McBrad is just fan-bloody-tastic!
This weekend is going to be mostly about packing...and a quiet BBQ with some friends at McBrad's, followed by a bit of a dance at Palms!
It's funny, as I've been going through my stuff at home, sorting out what to keep and what to flick, I've had to reflect on my "old" life. There's so much stuff that I've not used/worn since I came out for one reason or another and so a lot of it has gone into the "flick" pile, but everything has a memory attached, mostly good. It's not that I want to forget that life - I don't! I really liked my life up until I came out, with that one small exception of my struggle about my sexuality. Otherwise, it was all good. But it's a matter of moving on now. This is my opportunity to leave those last few vestiges of that life behind and start looking forward.
As always, my gorgeous McBrad has been a pillar of support and kindness and I can never get over how lucky I am. After all those ups and downs of dating, to have found someone as wonderful as McBrad is just fan-bloody-tastic!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Not that I'm counting...
...but on the 29th of September, I'll be celebrating two interlinked things...it will be the 3rd anniversary of my coming out and exactly 18 months together for McBrad and I. It's funny, 18 months doesn't really sound like much, but it feels like we've compacted a lot of stuff into it. We actually had a BBQ last night and it was a great feeling to see my friends and his friends mixing so well - the first time we did this, it did feel like my friends stayed together and his friends stayed together, but last night, it seemed like everyone was mingling. So despite the rather blustery conditions (or maybe in spite of the blustery conditions) it was a great night.
This morning, we cleaned up, went out for brekkie with Noodle and then we hit the SupaCentre for some furniture shopping. I'm planning on updating a few bits and pieces when I move into my new apartment and needed some inspiration and also a bit of an idea as to what it was going to cost me. I'm now busy re-writing budgets!!! I love that McBrad is just as excited (if not a bit more) as me about my new apartment - I feel so lucky to have such a supportive man!
It's funny, I have been rather haphazard at best of recent times in my blogging, and I'm finding it increasingly challenging to be motivated to continue the blog, but the other night, I re-read some of my first few posts and I was reminded why this blog has been a great thing for me. It's amazing to look back and remember how I was in those first few weeks and months after coming out. The same Monty is still here, but it's a much more confident, more relaxed Monty. After years of not really feeling comfortable in my skin (much of which had to do with my struggle coming to terms with my sexuality), I'm feel like I'm actually living the life I want and the life I'm comfortable with. So, although I do feel that this blog is fast running out of steam, I think there's still a few posts left in it.
Anyway, I hope everyone has had a great weekend.
This morning, we cleaned up, went out for brekkie with Noodle and then we hit the SupaCentre for some furniture shopping. I'm planning on updating a few bits and pieces when I move into my new apartment and needed some inspiration and also a bit of an idea as to what it was going to cost me. I'm now busy re-writing budgets!!! I love that McBrad is just as excited (if not a bit more) as me about my new apartment - I feel so lucky to have such a supportive man!
It's funny, I have been rather haphazard at best of recent times in my blogging, and I'm finding it increasingly challenging to be motivated to continue the blog, but the other night, I re-read some of my first few posts and I was reminded why this blog has been a great thing for me. It's amazing to look back and remember how I was in those first few weeks and months after coming out. The same Monty is still here, but it's a much more confident, more relaxed Monty. After years of not really feeling comfortable in my skin (much of which had to do with my struggle coming to terms with my sexuality), I'm feel like I'm actually living the life I want and the life I'm comfortable with. So, although I do feel that this blog is fast running out of steam, I think there's still a few posts left in it.
Anyway, I hope everyone has had a great weekend.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Changing Rooms...
Well, for those of you who aren't Facebook friends (and so have not seen my status updates over the past week), it's official. We exchanged contracts on Tuesday just gone which means I now am the pround owner of both a large hole in my bank account AND a contract obliging me to cough up with a substantial bucket of cash in just over 5 weeks. In exchange, I'll receive title to a rather small, but cute apartment over on the "other side" of the harbour. Much to the disgust of Tom, our late lamented aspiring-chef/blogger, I shall be departing the leafy North Shore for the somewhat seedy streets of the inner south - in fact, I'm almost moving into the "Ghetto" (the gay variety) which is something I promised myself I would never do.
That being said, once I got over the stress of actually making the decision to buy over there, and the whole to'ing and fro'ing between me, the agent, the solicitors and the vendor, I'm really looking forward to the move. I was only thinking about it the other day, when I caught up with Tom for a cup cake and coffee, that this is the final break from my former life. You see, over the past 3 years since coming out, my life has been one of gradual changes. Friends dropped me when I came out, and so I had to make new ones. Most of my family cut me off and so I've had to adopt a new "family". Even my previously very conservative wardrobe has become a little bit more flamboyant as I've become accustomed to my new "skin". I've even put on weight (something I was never able to do previously), most of which is more muscle. I've got me a wonderful partner now. I have a new car. And now, I'm leaving my lovely North shore apartment - it has so many memories of my former life, lovely memories of course, but now just memories. It was a constant in my life when everything was turned on its head, a safe harbour as it were, but now, it represents a past that is no longer relevant to me. It's the right time to move on, to get on with my new life with McBrad and my new friends and family. I'm planning on throwing out (or donating to charities) lots of stuff - furniture, clothes, etc - and so it's really going to be quite a new start for me. Scary, but exciting at the same time.
It was funny, I was woken this morning by someone starting their lawn mower - a sound I love but a sound that I will definitely not be hearing at my new apartment. And as I lay there in bed, I started compiling a list of things I would miss about this place, as well as things I'm looking forward to in the new apartment.
Things I'll miss...
That being said, once I got over the stress of actually making the decision to buy over there, and the whole to'ing and fro'ing between me, the agent, the solicitors and the vendor, I'm really looking forward to the move. I was only thinking about it the other day, when I caught up with Tom for a cup cake and coffee, that this is the final break from my former life. You see, over the past 3 years since coming out, my life has been one of gradual changes. Friends dropped me when I came out, and so I had to make new ones. Most of my family cut me off and so I've had to adopt a new "family". Even my previously very conservative wardrobe has become a little bit more flamboyant as I've become accustomed to my new "skin". I've even put on weight (something I was never able to do previously), most of which is more muscle. I've got me a wonderful partner now. I have a new car. And now, I'm leaving my lovely North shore apartment - it has so many memories of my former life, lovely memories of course, but now just memories. It was a constant in my life when everything was turned on its head, a safe harbour as it were, but now, it represents a past that is no longer relevant to me. It's the right time to move on, to get on with my new life with McBrad and my new friends and family. I'm planning on throwing out (or donating to charities) lots of stuff - furniture, clothes, etc - and so it's really going to be quite a new start for me. Scary, but exciting at the same time.
It was funny, I was woken this morning by someone starting their lawn mower - a sound I love but a sound that I will definitely not be hearing at my new apartment. And as I lay there in bed, I started compiling a list of things I would miss about this place, as well as things I'm looking forward to in the new apartment.
Things I'll miss...
- The lovely tree lined streets, with their lovely gardens and lawns
- The absolute quiet of my suburb
- My local Grumpy Baker - I love popping down on a Sat/Sun morning for a long black coffee and ham and cheese croissant
- Crossing the Harbour Bridge on the way to/from work. It's an experience that never gets stale, no matter how many times I've done it.
- The distinction of being a North Shore Gay - there are so few of us over here that it's always a talking point when I meet people
Things I'm looking forward to...
- Being closer to McBrad (only about 7 minutes drive) and 95% of my friends
- The nice French cafe literally around the corner from my new apartment. Hopefully, their ham and cheese croissants are better than the Grumpy Baker's! (their coffee is very good, I've tried it already)
- All the savings I'll have from not having to pay Harbour Bridge/Tunnell tolls (seriously, I spend a small fortune each month driving back and forth)
- Closeness to the puppy park and puppy shop - Noodle will LOVE it! And to Dan Murphy's and Victoria's Basement!
- Easier access to the Eastern Beaches
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Housing...
Just an update re: my plans for purchasing an apartment. Well, my offer was accepted however under NSW laws, nothing is guaranteed until we exchange contracts and I pay my 10% deposit. That will be happening tomorrow, all things being equal. But, because it's still available, there was another viewing yesterday. McBrad and I couldn't resist - we had to go along. I wanted to have another final look at the place, to make sure that it's really the right one for me. It is. Unfortunately, it seemed that every man and his dog also thought this was a great apartment. Thankfully, the agent appeared to be very positive about my offer and advised me to exchange tomorrow to make sure I get the property.
So, I'm feeling pretty good about it...I meet with my solicitor tomorrow at 1pm and hopefully, it will all go good and we'll exchange. Cross your fingers guys!
On a completely unrelated topic, I just watched the Qantas ad on TV - I don't know what it is, but every time I hear the children's choir singing "I Still Call Australia Home", I get goose bumps! I love the Qantas ads!!!
I was just reading some of my September posts from last year - we were celebrating 6 months together and I was still pinching myself that it was real. And here we are, about to celebrate 18 months. The thing is, the time just flies and the necessity of celebrating every milestone just isn't there. I'm not terrified that it's all going to be over, I am soooo much more relaxed about our relationship. I love McBrad so much and I know that he loves me. What more do you need? I'm excited that I'll be moving closer to him and to all of my friends actually. Although I love the North Shore, it has been somewhat of a barrier - my friends can't just pop by on their way home, they can't just drop by on a Sunday arvo for a drink and a chat. Whereas, if all goes well, this will be possible. AND I'll save a fortune in Bridge/Tunnel tolls!!!
Well, now I'm sitting down to Idol...to watch Scottie the Hottie and the yummilicious Toby!!!!!
So, I'm feeling pretty good about it...I meet with my solicitor tomorrow at 1pm and hopefully, it will all go good and we'll exchange. Cross your fingers guys!
On a completely unrelated topic, I just watched the Qantas ad on TV - I don't know what it is, but every time I hear the children's choir singing "I Still Call Australia Home", I get goose bumps! I love the Qantas ads!!!
I was just reading some of my September posts from last year - we were celebrating 6 months together and I was still pinching myself that it was real. And here we are, about to celebrate 18 months. The thing is, the time just flies and the necessity of celebrating every milestone just isn't there. I'm not terrified that it's all going to be over, I am soooo much more relaxed about our relationship. I love McBrad so much and I know that he loves me. What more do you need? I'm excited that I'll be moving closer to him and to all of my friends actually. Although I love the North Shore, it has been somewhat of a barrier - my friends can't just pop by on their way home, they can't just drop by on a Sunday arvo for a drink and a chat. Whereas, if all goes well, this will be possible. AND I'll save a fortune in Bridge/Tunnel tolls!!!
Well, now I'm sitting down to Idol...to watch Scottie the Hottie and the yummilicious Toby!!!!!
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